#1 Bonafide Way to Create ANY Sustainable Life Change
Do you possess more of a highly ambitious, over-achievement oriented, and ‘just get it done’ type of mentality?
One where if you’re able to reflect back from as early as you can remember, it’s always just been a part of you.
While you’re an open-minded listener, you love the art of being challenged; stretching both the mind and your abilities to perform within your life and professional work.
You even know that at times when you experience an outcome that isn’t the one in which you were aiming for (aka the goal), while initially feeling a sense of disappointment, it doesn’t last for too long because you’ve already stepped into a new activity or project to begin the process of re-exerting yourself again.
Can you relate to this?
If so, can you also relate to often feeling overstretched and exhausted too, maybe recognizing that something needs to shift or you’re going to burn yourself out, again.
I mention again because you’re now in a position of life where you possess a high enough level of self-awareness, to the point of clearly seeing that the pace in which you’re living, is truly not sustainable over the long-term.
Maybe you’re even:
1. Completely exhausted upon waking up each AM, but are in a very loyal and committed relationship to your coffee or caffeinated drinks (offering you that ‘temporary’ boost of get up, each day)
2. Heavily attached to your cell phone at all times (ok if we’re being honest, you deep down know you may be addicted to it), looking at or answering emails till the wee hours of the evening (plus it’s the very first thing you look at upon waking up in the AM)
3. You’re a bagel, bread (or any other carb heavy) breakfast eater, who often feels tired or sluggish by about 10 - 10:30AM (desperately in need of another shot of sugar or caffeine, in order to elevate your mood, hike your energy back up, and ‘temporarily’ enhance your work productivity (aka the Snickers hangry effect)
4. You’re content from your appetite suppressing coffee as breakfast, though you recognize you feel absolutely RAVENOUS by lunch-time (often eating a portion size that you recognize is probably a bit more than your body actually really needs, but hey… you’re just listening to your body which is screaming at food to “Get in my belly!”)
However, if the last nugget is true for you, then you more than likely hit an absolute wall of ‘tiredness’ post lunchtime (that is of course until you grab another dose of your favorite drug, caffeine).
Are you reading this partially with your head nodding up and down in strong agreement, while at the same time your mouth and eyes are slightly a bit wider than normal in disbelief (from the fact of feeling truly seen and understood)?
Do you also feel like your clock ALWAYS feels sped up, as if there is just NEVER enough time in the day?
Like it doesn’t matter how much you do, you recognize it never feels like enough.
By the time you either come home from the office or finish your work day, you feel absolutely wiped out and exhausted.
However, you also have a loving partner and maybe even a kid or two (or three) who are very happy to see you, and want some more of that abundance of energy that you’re walking into the door with 😉
You genuinely love your partner and kids, but the last thing you want to do is talk or play after finally shutting off from work (as again you feel completely wiped out).
However, this feeling isn’t new to you, as upon inner reflection you recognize it’s been a daily pattern or theme of yours for multiple years now.
You still work hard, ‘pushing’ yourself to do as much as you can with the level of inconsistent energy in which you do you have, to the point of you surrendering to the fact that without coffee, your life would be in shambles.
At the end of the day, and even deeper than all of this, you recognize that you’re capable of showing up much more powerfully.
You hold yourself to a very high standard, one which no single person could ever out rank.
Sometimes when you’re lying in bed daydreaming about where you’re at, you remember a time in your life (usually years ago), when you just felt ‘on.’
You had more energy and you felt more confident within yourself (fitting into your clothes and looking at yourself in the mirror with a sense of pride).
You also noticed that even though you ‘got things done,’ you had much more energy then (as you didn’t feel as lethargic or tired as you do throughout and by the end of the day).
If your head is buzzing from what you’ve read thus far, and you slow down and gently tune into your body, you may even notice different sensations bubbling through it (tingling in the chest or fingers, or just an overall warmth of feeling both heard and seen).
To add onto this point, all the work that you’ve cultivated and created through the years (albeit in a much more efficient and productive way), has led you to being in leadership within your company or organization.
You do the best that you can and your intentions are to continue to grow and elevate, but at the same time you always feel tired.
Like an impenetrable cloud is located around your head.
You don’t feel as mentally sharp.
You may even notice slight dizziness at times when you stand up.
And you may harbor a deep desire to figure out or identify ways to resolve or improve your energy, health, and overall vitality, but you don’t have the energy to look into different alternatives, because you are already squeezing every ounce of the energy you do have, just to get through the day.
It sounds a bit bleak wouldn’t you say?
Do you know why I can speak to this, to this deep of a degree?
Because I’ve 1000% been in the exact same position before myself (minus the kiddos part).
It’s an uncomfortable one that for most (especially men), can occur once you hit your mid 30’s (roughly between the ages of 33-40).
Here’s the thing though.
Unless there’s a drastic lifestyle change, one will continue to genuinely ride off into the sunset of lethargy, diminishing performance and productivity, as well as a lack of energy (and libido), with an underlying feeling of “is this it?”
To be honest with you, I haven’t discussed or written about this particular topic in a while, but it’s an area that has been flooding my awareness recently, while being in dialogue with others.
Given that, I felt led to bring this particular setting back to the forefront (with the very first step to begin to truly and sustainably say goodbye to this way of living, in order to create more space and room for those who feel ‘stuck’ and have a reached a point where they’re putting a line in the sand to say ‘enough is enough.’
Those who are ready to go beyond the temporary band-aid ‘fixes’ and surface level advice, in order to dive into the core of what’s necessary to completely transform one’s overall wellness and health (100% from the inside… which over time is mirrored on the outside).
Firstly, let’s talk a little bit about burnout.
Simply put, burnout is when your body is so off it’s natural balance (homeostasis), that one isn’t truly capable of functioning to a higher degree.
I don’t need to rehash all that I mentioned above, but here are some ways in which why this occurs:
- Continuously eating of low quality, highly inflammatory, and process foods
- Over dependence on caffeine (coffee) or other stimulants
- Not enough + poor sleeping habits (aka tossing and turning throughout the evening or having your sleep continuously interrupted by 2-3AM wake ups)
- Over consumption of technology (this includes both laptop and time on social media… aka the mental strain of taking in an overabundance of artificial light)
- Consumption of too much sugar (which is highly addictive and can wreak havoc on your blood sugar levels, leading to chaotic fluctuations of energy throughout the day)
- Having a vitamin or mineral deficiency (from not receiving the necessary nutrition or proper supplements to help the body thrive)
- Lack of direct sunlight on the body (leading to vitamin D deficiency)
I could actually go on all day, including at least 20-30 more aspects that are related to above, but in the essence of time and getting to the point, I’ll save it for another one.
However, if you feel led to explore more within these areas (including solutions to completely reverse them), you may find value in checking out “The 4 Stages of Optimal Health” and “How to Say Goodbye to Burnouts (For Good)” after finishing this read.
One of the things that I often run into at the beginning of my work with different clients is that what they deem as the primary focus of a potential problem or area of life growth, is usually secondary to what they actually need to put more attention towards.
Oftentimes they talk about revenue numbers, goal projections, or the different strategies they have within their professional roles (as those types of discussions comes effortless to them).
However, when it comes to going deeper and speaking to their emotions (how they actually feel), it’s usually communicated completely from the head space (at least at the beginning).
“I feel tired.”
“I feel frustrated.”
“I feel exhausted.”
“I feel like I need help.”
While these are all beautiful and authentic expressions of where some may actually be at when we first engage, this really is only surface level at best.
There are five primary emotions:
1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Fear
4. Joy
5. Sexual Feelings
Anytime we use the word ‘feel,’ one of those states are underneath whatever is that we communicate afterwards.
Tiredness has a physiological emotion underneath it.
Frustration has a physiological emotion underneath it.
Exhaustion has a physiological emotion underneath it.
And the desire to receive help, also has an emotion underneath it too.
This may sound like overkill, but I’m being very specific on this because when you ask 99% of people how they ‘feel,’ they’ll usually often describe it with one of the former terms (rather than that of the penetrative latter ones).
However, we’re here to go to the roots of the garden.
To get a bit deeper into the actual soil, in order to not only see the quality of its terrain, but also what yield can truly be sprouted from within it.
So, what I’m about to describe here is what I’ve found to be the absolute bonafide #1 place to start, when it comes to creating any type of sustainable long-term change.
Again, this is all about creating a sustainable lifestyle, which by doing so, allows one to truly say goodbye to repetitive periods of over-fatigue, exhaustion, and overwhelm; in order to sustainably shift towards the feeling of living a peaceful, energetic, productive, and truly balanced life (can you tell that I’m trying to really to hammer home this sustainable point) 😉
So let’s get right to it :- )
This ladies and gentleman is it….
It’s the Spotify playlist that hits just right.
The smooth sailing of driving through neighborhoods while only hitting green lights.
The receiving of an unexpected gift that is EXACTLY what you wanted.
Alright I’ll stop hyping it up 🤦🏾♂️
As in actuality, most of you reading this may find it to be miniscule or insignificant (possibly even choosing to gloss over it and delightfully push it to the “I already know that” part of the brain).
However, I invite you to completely hear me out first (especially if you’re one who deep down knows that they could use a bit more energy and flow within their life) 🙌🏿
So without further ado, here it is for your viewing pleasure…..
1. To Identify your REAL emotions
I’d like to invite you to a brief exercise.
On a sheet of paper, write out the five main emotions I shared above:
1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Fear
4. Joy
5. Sexual Feelings
There’s a method to the madness, so it would serve you most to actually write these down (albeit on a piece of paper or a notecard).
Alright, once they’re written, I want you to sit back with your chest wide open and all four corners of your feet gently pressed upon the floor or surface beneath you.
With your chest open, posture upright, and both feet rooted to the ground, I want you to begin to just focus your attention on your breath.
Following each inhale and exhale with your attention, noticing how the breath feels as it travels in and out of your body.
Place your left hand on your belly and the right on the center of your chest.
Notice if your breath is coming more from the chest or the stomach.
You can tell just by placing your attention toward both parts of your body, noticing which one is moving more (try not to overthink it).
Allow yourself to breathe a few breath cycles, where the oxygen is traveling all the way down from the bottom of your belly on the inhale, while effortlessly flowing out from your lungs, to the chest, and outside of the body on the exhale.
Now I just have one question to ask you:
- How do you feel at this present moment?
Not how do you ‘think’ you feel, but how do you feel from a place of noticing it within your body?
Does this sound crazy to you?
Just hang with me for a moment, as it’ll all come together (hopefully).
Identify whatever feeling it is that is most present for you.
Are you feeling excited or happy (which is underlined by joy)?
Are you feeling unhappy or depressed (which is underlined by sadness)?
Are you feeling highly frustrated or outraged (which is underlined by anger)?
Are you feeling afraid or nervous (which is underlined by fear)?
Or are you feeling like something new is wanting to be birthed or created from inside of you, or attraction towards another person (which is underlined by sexual feelings)?
Are you still here with me or have I lost you yet 😉
Now just notice any and all sensations you may be feeling within your body (in this very moment).
Scan from your forehead to your eyes and shoulders, down along your arms to fingertips, to your chest, stomach, lower back, private parts, thighs, and all the way down your legs until you reach your toes.
Do you feel any tingling or other sensations anywhere?
Now let’s go back to identifying the emotion first.
From that point, bring awareness as to how that emotion is presently showing up within your body.
If you feel like you want to go back to your mind (and you’ll know this because your eyes will start to look upwards and your focus will be coming more from your head than the actual body), just settle back into your body (continuing to gently breathe into your stomach).
While this may seem miniscule on the surface, this is the foundation of creating any sustainable and physiological change on an outward level.
Guess what, it all starts with inward awareness.
From that place you’re able to see and be with ALL of your emotions (in the moment).
Instead of suppressing them behind something sugary, a caffeine or coffee, social media, ‘pushing’ to do more work, or getting completely lost in the head space, you begin to feel and identify them.
You slow down, open your body, focus on the breath, and then you tune into the true emotion you’re feeling at the time.
From that awareness you then identify the sensations of how that emotion is showing up within the body.
Some examples would be:
- A tightness in the chest
- A heaviness in the pit of my stomach
- A sensation in my right arm
- A very light and openness in my chest
- A fluttering or flickering of the heart
Why do I mention all of these?
Because this is the #1 most important step in the game of moving forward in those pesky life areas, where we may feel perpetually ‘stuck’ the most.
We elevate forward not from avoiding or trying to ‘push’ ourselves from a place that’s rooted in fear.
We do so by tuning into whatever it is that our bodies are attempting to communicate to us (through body awareness), and then ‘feel’ all of the different waves of emotions that may be showing up for us in the present moment.
Anger is just as beautiful as joy.
As when that anger can be seen and felt (rather than stuffed or suppressed), it’s exceptionally high level of potential energy can be outwardly channeled in a more powerful (and healthy) way.
Frankly put, you can’t skip this step.
I mean you can, but all it creates is the same cycle of relegating to the same pattern or choice whenever one may feel an uncomfortable emotional trigger.
While this affects both males and females, it’s something that a LARGE percentage of men are truly disconnected from.
That being:
Emotional Intelligence + Body Awareness
Usually by the time individuals come across my path, they are in search of something deeper.
Something that is beyond the surface or band-aid level, as they’re already more than clear on what that actually leads to; which is more and more of the same ‘pushing or striving,’ that usually comes from the unexpressed emotion around fear of failure.
When we’re continuously operating from a motivation that is rooted in fear, we beget more of that same emotion (rather we’re bodily conscious of it or not).
This is why I consider this to be the deepest of inner work (which again isn’t for everyone), but it yields the greatest of results and life enriching possibilities.
It’s difficult to continuously burn yourself out, if you have a high level of emotional and body awareness.
Why is that?
Because with that awareness, you’re always consistently checking in with yourself in order to tune into what’s real for you in that moment.
You can identify whichever emotion you’re feeling (with curiosity rather than judgement).
You then go immediately to where said emotion is showing up within the body (allowing yourself the space and presence to truly ‘be’ with it).
And from that place you then ask yourself:
- What is it meant for me to learn or see within myself from this?
And from there you make a conscious choice to create the best decision that is most aligned and useful for your next step of growth.
Choosing to elevate forward from a mindset of ‘creating and thriving,’ which is ultimately rooted in the essence of love (rather than the ‘pushing and striving’ from a fear that I mentioned earlier).
And guess what that begets….
More choices and decisions that are coming from said place of love.
And guess what else…
That’s truly created from the emotional and body awareness that one has cultivated from the intentional practice of truly slowing down, ‘being’ with all of themselves, and then choosing to take their next best step forward.
No more or less, just one step forward, while allowing the next to be revealed.
With Love,
Brandon