How to say Goodbye to Burnouts (For Good)
In Jaco, Costa Rica enjoying a couple acai bowls from Gaia Natural Foods :-)
One of the most common characteristics of most, if not all clients, when we begin our work together, is the experience of feeling exhausted.
While this can show up in many different forms, on some level, it’s always there.
At times it’s mental fatigue, with their minds feeling like it’s on an unsustainable or never-ending cycle of ‘thoughts’ or ‘things’ needed to do.
Other times it’s on an emotional fatigue level, just from the sheer fact of holding on to (or recycling) so many unexpressed feelings.
And lastly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the spiritual and purposeful level too.
This is actually the main one that clients usually are very clear in identifying as being a problem area, when they reach out to me.
Maybe they’re living a life where they’re doing work in which they thought was going to be their ‘mountaintop,’ (providing them deep levels of peace and happiness), only to realize that it feels like ‘something’ is missing.
On the surface, maybe it appears that everything is all good, but beneath it, they’ve reached a point where they desire more of a deeper connection to who they are, and whey they are here, on this beautiful planet.
I can empathize on all of these levels because I’ve definitely been there myself.
Intimately knowing how it feels to have a mind that I felt would never turn off (leading me to finding it difficult to relax and just ‘be,’ during times when I truly desired to).
I also recognize the emotional piece too.
Tightly holding onto an outer appearance of strength and calm, but really underneath the exterior, harboring a variety of emotions around shame, guilt, and fear that I felt incapable of truly expressing.
And lastly, I can also understand how it feels to be in a position that on the surface others look at as being ‘it,’ only to then recognize that there was something deeper beneath me that was calling out to be expressed in an even greater capacity.
If you can relate to any of these aspects within yourself, trust me when I say:
1. You’re not alone
2. It’s ok, you’re human
However, do me a favor and take a long deep breath through your nose, and let a huge exhale out of your mouth, and remember:
1. You got this
2. Let’s focus on how to create a completely new lifestyle enhancing process around it
Compassionately honor yourself for being real with your present feelings, and open enough to see and create a different frame of reality with them from this moment forward.
Burnout is real and something that I’d say nearly each and every ambitious and driven individual goes through at some point in their lives (especially in western culture).
Often times the natural rhythm our culture can feel very sped up, causing one to easily attach to the ‘rat race’ or ‘addicted to hustle’ type of mentality.
While the latter has personally served me at times, simply put, it’s an area I gracefully waved goodbye too some years ago (due to, you guessed it, multiple burnouts myself).
Now, my life is truly centered all-around simplicity, so that’s what I am here to share with you, in this text today.
With that being said, here are the five ways to say goodbye to burnouts (for good).
1. Slow Down
As I mentioned above, the rhythm of going at a fast pace is oftentimes an addiction in itself.
It’s easy to create a narrative that you must ‘do’ a ton of different aspects each day through every waking hour, but simply put, it’s false.
We can truly create our days exactly how it is we wish them to be (however, it just takes time and intentional practice).
At one point in my prior corporate career, I legitimately worked 60-70 hours a week.
I’d say it could even be considered more because even when I wasn’t ‘working,’ my brain seemed to always be tuned into work.
Even at times when I would have what was supposed to be respite or relief (rather it be an off day or even during vacations too), I’d be thinking of all the things I still needed to do.
Admittedly, as someone who’s introverted and has a heavy intuitive and visionary mind, my brain would always feel like it was active with creative and futuristic ideas.
However, it wasn’t until I slowed down that I was able to truly see how much ‘noise’ I was also creating in my life.
The brain needs time for nothingness.
It needs time to recharge and be completely still and quiet.
This is where meditation comes into play.
For years I theorized meditation on an intellectual level, meaning I read up on it and understood on the surface how it could be impactful.
However, it wasn’t until I actually began the practice, that I became fully aware of its power.
In a technologically driven western world where more and more of our interactions and ways of connecting with each other is online, I’ve found the best thing in both my own, as well as client’s lives, to be; creating space to truly tune out of technology.
Creating 20-30 minutes each day of pure quiet time, where the focus is purely on ‘being’ with the breath, can in itself be life altering for many people.
For myself I actually began consistently meditating when I was in place where I was highly stressed.
These are some of the areas I was experiencing then:
- Working over 60+ hours a week in a job that I knew no longer served me
- My mother was having serious health issues and needed my assistance, so I was missing big chunks of work to support her
- An intimate relationship was right in the mix of breaking down
- And even though I was extremely exhausted, I still found it difficult to fall asleep at a decent hour (leading to a repetitive cycle of increasing exhaustion)
It was during this time that I actually began meditating.
I threw my hands up in the air and prayed about it, surrendering to whatever showed up to help me at the time.
Meditation showed up clear as day for me then (and I bet for some of you reading this too, may be a sign to truly take the next step forward with a practice for yourself).
However, if you have an inner knowing that this is true, though are dismissing the possibility, then pay close attention to this next sentence.
Excuses are like assholes, they all stink.
If something is important enough for you (and your personal health), then simply put, prioritize it.
There are countless apps (Calm & Headspace being a couple of the most popular ones), plus you can access ones via Youtube for free (here’s a nature sounds one that I personally enjoy – just remember to set a timer… unless you really want to go the fully listed 8+ hours). ;- )
Remember, anything is better than nothing. Therefore, starting at 10 minutes a day (and going until completion, no matter how many thoughts may appear), is much better than intellectually saying or knowing that it may be useful (but not taking the intentional action of doing it).
2. Get That Body Moving
This may come across as even more simplistic than the meditation recommendation (as physical exercise is something that’s been globally accepted as something good for the body… for like forever), but what I share here may be a bit different than what you may be expecting (as well as what you may see in most health or fitness-oriented articles or magazines).
If you’re in a state where you’re not receiving enough good sleep, feel mentally scattered, and are overall exhausted, then I’d like you to replace the word ‘exercise’ in your vocabulary with the word ‘movement’ instead.
To take it a step even deeper, mindful movement would be an even more appropriate.
Mindfully moving your body is doing activities that are in sync with what it needs in the present moment.
Heavy weight lifting, intense gladiator, cross-fit, or high impact runs, as well as even playing recreational sports like basketball, are probably a bit too much for your body at this time.
More gentle movements like going for walks outside in nature, or developing a light yoga practice, are things that can actually help strengthen and energize your body, rather than continue to break it down.
Naturally, for those who have grown up playing competitive sports at a high level or may have adopted the belief that hardcore exercise is the only way to improve health (or body composition), are unfortunately misinformed.
This is by the way coming from a guy who played a year of basketball at the collegiate level, and has previously ran two full marathons as well.
Exercise is a beautiful thing in itself.
It releases endorphins (feel good hormones) throughout our whole entire bodies, and reduces inflammation and stress all the way around too.
However, this is only the case when it’s done in a way that supports the present condition that the body is in.
As someone who works with men who naturally embody these characteristics:
- Ambitious and visionary oriented
- High level sales or marketing professional backgrounds
- Self-motivated and entrepreneurial minded (even if they presently work in the corporate space)
- Viewed as leaders by friends, family, and peers
There’s one other quality that many of these men possess that they also possess and may usually are not fully honoring by the time they see me and that is….
They are sensitive.
I say this from a positive scope, as these men are highly creative minded, heart-centered, and very empathic towards the needs of others.
They naturally have a desire to not only do good in the world, but also continue to evolve in tapping into the greatest and most aligned versions of themselves.
Why do I mention this?
Because it can oftentimes be quite difficult to change a perspective that one has modeled or believed their whole entire lives.
It takes gentle compassion, consistency, and a deep personal desire to truly create effective and long-lasting change (as overnight success or ‘fixes’ are just as temporary as they sound).
However, once the sensitivity piece is embraced (you can take a short 5-minute test if you’d like to see if this may be the case for you too – P.S, if you do, please send me your results), then I’ve noticed there’s a whole new reality shift in not only need, but true desire in creating a new and sustainable change, that continues to support them in their life’s biggest aspirations.
3. Let go of Caffeine
For those that are in a long-term committed marriage with coffee, this may be the time where you scroll your mouse to the top left of the screen and click that small x highlighted in a red circle (shout out to my MacBook users).
However, for those of you who are willing to listen, allow me to briefly explain a bit.
While coffee can be a performance enhancing drug (when used properly), it can also wreak havoc on one nervous system, ability to sleep deeply, and it can create an addictive like quality where one may feel they truly can’t live without it.
The image of a man at the bottom of palace screaming “please don’t leave me baby!” just popped into my vision after writing that last line.
Coffee is one of the most highly addictive, legal substances, that one can put inside of their bodies.
It increases hormonal production of dopamine (the ‘feel good’ one), and causes our bodies to secrete adrenaline each time we drink it too.
It can give a temporary boost when one wakes up from a poor night of sleep (allowing them to receive an artificial extra kick).
Or it can also help with the post lunchtime nap vibes too, allowing one to feel more efficient and present with their work, in the second half of their days.
However, I’d like to let you in on a little secret of what it can also do.
It also causes the body to produce extra cortisol too.
Cortisol is a stress hormone (the ‘not so feel good’ one), and it’s produced by our adrenal glands (which sit on top of the kidneys).
Each of these two glands (which are both the size of a grape), are responsible for regulating all levels of stress throughout our whole entire bodies.
Not just physical stress (think exercise… though remember, we’re using the word ‘movement’ now), but also mental and emotional stress too.
Anytime we feel stressed, our bodies secrete cortisol.
Think of it this way, if you’re already:
1. Sleeping poorly
2. Hustling to the point of physical exhaustion each day (addicted to hustle vibes)
3. Feeling like your brain will never cut off
4. Doing intense exercise or to the point where you don’t have energy at all to do any
5. Have been repeating this cycle for several months or even years
Then do you truly believe caffeine is helping enhance these areas?
I’ve written about this before in the “Importance of Body Awareness,” but hopefully by now you’ve maybe released the idea of a Kungfu grip with the coffee.
Trust me, I get it.
I previously drank coffee (multiple large cups) every single day (shout out to the Keurig machine…. and no, they are not a sponsor).
I was ‘married’ to it and very faithful.
Loyal to a fresh cup each and every morning (and often times after lunch too – shout out to the “The itis”).
However, it wasn’t until I reset my system by letting it go for a period of time, that I really noticed not only how much more natural energy I had, but that I also felt more mentally clear and overall sharper too.
Sounds unbelievable right?
Here’s testimonial of a client who was happily married to coffee too, highlighting our work together, with a before/after included to show the results he experienced from it.
And oh yea, one of the major things he did was… let go of coffee.
Give it a try yourself for 30 days and see if you may notice any subtle shifts on your own end.
4. Create a Dynamite Sleep Environment
Sleep is a hell of an important thing.
I repeat, sleep is a hell of an important thing my friend.
I’m also going to say something that isn’t conventional in this context too, and it’s this:
It’s not about the hours of sleep you get, it’s about the QUALITY.
Sure, one can be in bed for 8 or 9 hours, but if that entire time is spent tossing and turning or only experiencing ‘light’ sleep (we all need both ‘REM’ and ‘deep’ levels too), then they’re naturally not going to feel at their best during the waking state too.
Sleep is soooooooooooo important.
Can you tell I’m serious about it? ;- )
Our brains, energy, performance, and creativity are dependent on it.
A centered, peaceful, calm, and grounded mind (and body), equals a happy hombre (man).
However, when one has built up a steady cycle of months (or even years) of poor quality in this area, it can create the inability to truly access one’s deepest inner gifts.
The body and mind are too focused on attempting to get through the day or create homeostasis (balance), rather than anchor into a clear and clean slate of potential and powerful creative energy.
Sleep helps to cultivate this.
Here are three ways to greatly enhance ones sleep environment:
1. Buy black out curtains (you can find some on Amazon – just like you literally can anything else)
2. Purchase blue light blocking glasses and wear them every evening a couple hours before bed time (the short version is that the artificial light that comes from our electronic devices and lights around the house can suppress our natural production of melatonin) – Melatonin is our sleep hormone and help our bodies create deep sleep
3. Download a blue light filter on all of your electronic devices and set a timer for the filter to kick in 2-3 hours before bed time
4. Drink a chamomile tea after dinner (this is a natural herbal tea with no caffeine, that helps the body rest and relax)
You do this you’ll be ahead of 90+ % of the world and others who may be experiencing issues with sleep who may not have the awareness of any simple hacks to do to help improve it (and this is without making any changes to your nutritional plan or taking any supplements too).
If you’ve already tried something similar and are still experiencing some of the symptoms above, you can read “The Top Signs of Adrenal Fatigue” which highlights how they show up and even includes a questionnaire for you to self-test yourself too.
5. Create Nothingness Gaps
Last but not least, I saved what may again be the most simplistic on the surface level, but may even be the most powerful if fully honored.
Nothingness gaps are pretty self-explanatory, but allow me to further explain.
The human brain works best when it’s taking in or creating information in 40-50-minute intervals (this is scientifically proven – and I’m not even a big science guy, so you know that means something coming from me).
When we are constantly ‘doing’ activities or tasks all day without any adequate breaks, it’s a surefire sun to burn oneself out over time.
I used to be very guilty of this myself.
This showed up for me during lunchtime where I’d often eat at my desk while still working.
While that is supposed to be a brief period of nourishment and relaxation, I was in such a constant state of ‘doing’ that I felt a subtle sense of ‘fear’ creep up, whenever there truly was created space for nothingness.
I had created the perception that I ‘should’ always be working.
One pro tip – you can instantly reduce stress and self-pressure by eliminating the words:
- Should
- Must
- And Have
from your vocabulary.
That in itself has created so much more of an openness in my life, and the vocabulary in which I use, to intentionally create around my life around it.
However I’ll stop there and get back to the gap talk for now ;- )
Our brains are delicate, permeable, and are capable of expanding in infinite ways that cannot even truly be explained or fully quantified.
However, in the same essence of our brain’s great capabilities of progression, they also need adequate time to rest too.
And I’m not just talking about when one is sleep either.
I mean being able to create nothingness after deep periods of focus.
Meaning to focus on a task or project for 40-50 minutes, followed by a disconnection from doing anything that requires heavy brain activity.
Each person is different, but for me I incorporate a minimum of 30-minute breaks after focusing on one task intentionally for an hour.
Even when it comes to client meetings, when I first began coaching I would go back-to-back, trying to fit in as many as I could each day.
However, after experiencing mental fatigue and recurring bouts of burnout, I flashed a microscope on every area in my life that could’ve been leading to it.
One in particular was this exact one that I’m speaking of, in not creating enough gaps throughout my days.
I would try to fill up my entire calendar with ‘stuff’ and when I wasn’t doing anything at certain periods, I’d often try to add other things to do during it.
Last year I actually created a one-hour gap of nothing on my calendar after each and every client meeting or conversation.
This took some time adjusting to and fully honoring, but I noticed a lingering effect of feeling exhausted when I defaulted back into the prior pattern of crowding too many back-to-back meetings on my calendar.
I now only intentionally support a handful of clients at time.
This allows more creative space for me to do other aspects that I love (one of which includes writing this text in which you’ve been presently reading at this time).
Others for me would be spending time in nature, listening to music, journaling, and reading an average of 30-45 minutes per day.
It took some time and very intentional actions, but burnouts are a truly a thing of the past for me, as well as for many clients whom I have had the privilege of working with.
It takes a commitment to create an environment that is truly conducive to one’s health, honoring the process that ensues (when creating any new routine or habit), and being graceful with oneself whenever periods may arise that may remind an individual that:
1. We’re human
2. Practice = Progress (not perfection)
Hopefully this has been helpful in providing some tools to support you in creating a version of yourself that lives more mindfully, grounded, and at a speed that truly does allow you to say goodbye to burnouts.
As when we give ourselves permission to slow down and create a life that places our personal, mental, and emotional health as a top priority, we’re able to better catch and reroute ourselves during those times when in the past we may have aimlessly kept riding the same stationary bike (or treadmill) in the exact same direction.
I leave with you with two of my favorite mantras (which I began fully embodying some years ago):
1. Slow is the new sexy
2. Slow down to speed up
With Love,
Brandon
P.S. –
If this message is reaching you at a time where it not only deeply resonates, but you desire personal support in a 1:1 capacity in completely transforming your personal health, click here to apply for a 30-minute Discovery Call.
In it, you can share more of why it’s important for you to truly create a new and sustainable way of living, working, and ‘being’ in the world. And if it feels like a mutual fit, afterwards I’ll share more of how it looks to work with me.