How to Create Life on Your own terms
Just after taking a dip in the hot springs with this beautiful lady in La Fortuna, Costa Rica :-)
On the surface it’s actually quite easy, however then there’s the whole ‘doing’ piece too (which I think we all can agree, adds a whole other journey past just ‘knowing’ something).
So, what is it?
No drum roll necessary, as I’m just going to come right out with it.
It’s simply this…
Take Complete Responsibility for Your Entire Life.
Pretty self-explanatory right?
Alright then, cheers.
It was nice knowing you and I hope you have a great rest of your day or evening :-)
All joking aside though, I’d like to share more on what this actually means and ‘why’ it’s ultimately at the root of truly and consciously, building the life of one’s most highest and grandest vision.
The energy of blame is one of the most disempowering, victim minded, and helpless states one can be in.
“If the economy was much better, then I’d be ______.”
“If it wasn’t for _______, I’d be able to get more work done during the day.”
“If my parents didn’t treat me like (insert story), I’d be much better off today.”
“If didn’t work (insert x number of hours per week), I’d be able to focus more time and energy on _____.”
Do you see a trend here?
All of these statements create a sense of shifting personal responsibility onto someone or something outside of oneself.
There’s no possibility to see anything new (at least on an expansive level), when we utter disempowering statements (on any level).
The body has a beautiful way of responding to whatever it is in which we communicate to it.
Language and how we use it towards ourselves, can uplift, expand, and push us forward.
Or on the flip side, it can close us off, create inner stress, and lead us into fearfully hiding or retreating backwards (to a smaller, more limited version of ourselves).
Here’s another secret (or not so much if you’re already in the space of doing it):
If You’re Not Meditating or Quieting the Mind on Daily Basis (to some degree), You Are More Than Likely Repeating A Default Pattern Over and Over and Over Again.
I’ll use myself as an example.
Most of my life (I’d say up until about 7 years ago – I’m 35 presently), I spent it being addicted to hustling (you can read more on the five ways to say goodbye to hustling and burnouts here).
I didn’t control my day, my day controlled me.
Each morning I’d often awaken with a great deal of anxiety.
Immediately (before even getting out of bed), I’d already be thinking of all the things I needed to do for the day.
It didn’t matter how much time I had, I always felt internally ‘rushed’ (as it seemed like there was NEVER enough time in the day).
Even if I finished all of the tasks I set forth, I’d still feel an underlying sense of pressure to ‘do more.’
I didn’t know how to relax.
‘Free time’ was spent feeling anxious, with an underlying sense of self-guilt for not putting more on my schedule ‘to do.’
Sounds pretty crazy right?
To live life from a constant sped up, overwhelmed, and anxious state of mind.
However, this is how MANY people are living their lives today.
And I say that from a place of non-judgement, as I clearly was that exact same person myself too.
Working 60-70 hours a week and craving more down time, but when I would receive said down time, I didn’t know how to fully enjoy it.
I was addicted to hustling without even knowing it.
However, when I first started meditating, it created a powerful pattern break.
I became more able to slow down my thoughts and see opportunities that weren’t quite accessible to me before.
It’s akin to a ceiling fan that’s on the highest setting, all of the time.
Let’s say you tried to throw a small object up in the air through it (I don’t recommend this by the way, just stating it as an example).
If the fan is always on high, then that whatever said object is, will immediately be rejected in the opposite direction.
However, if the fan is on its slowest setting, and you try the same, the likelihood of the object being able to penetrate through it, without being blocked, would be much more likely.
Think of the mind or brain this way too.
If it’s turned on ALL day, then there’s no room for anything else (rather it be creative a thought or deep insight) to penetrate through.
How do we grow though?
Yes, we grow from ‘doing’ and taking actions that ultimately continue to lead us into a certain direction.
I emphasis certain because if there’s no true conscious vision or intentional purpose of said actions, then they may be leading us to an eventual wall.
Intuitive insights oftentimes (I’ll actually say ALL the time, but I’m trying to present it a little softer) come when there’s space of nothing.
Sometimes that ‘nothing’ can be in as short as a few breaths. Other times it can be over a course of setting intentional time aside each day to block out of the external ‘noise’ and tune back into oneself.
You can either create your own life, or be a part of someone else creation.
The most powerful creators are the ones who are:
1. Clear with their life’s vision in the present moment (even if necessary tweaks to it show up, they recognize it earlier and adjust - due to a deep awareness of the big picture as the foundation)
2. They are relentless in cultivating a ‘state of being’ on a daily basis, that harmonizes them in the vibration of the energy of what the vision is (again, in the present moment)
3. They are able to quiet out all the external ‘noise’ and intentionally focus on not only what they would love, but also ……
4. They have extremely high emotional intelligence (being both gentle with themselves, while at the same time authentic enough to ‘feel’ rather than suppress what’s present for them) …. And most importantly, still take ACTIONS even when they may feel uncomfortable
The world is our oyster, if we truly BELIEVE it to be and create lives in deep harmony with that belief.
There’s only one thing though, we can’t lie to ourselves.
You have to ‘FEEL’ it within every fiber of your being (no matter what may be showing up in the present physical reality).
I’ll use another personal example.
While recently having a conversation with a new neighbor by the name of DTO, (who’s an award-winning music producer that not only inspires the hell out of me), but is also highly tuned into living a lifestyle by design, he asked me a simple question.
“What are you presently most excited about creating in your life right now Brandon, what’s your vision?”
This was like music to my ears (and the conversations I absolutely live for), so instantly a smile and expansive light came across my face.
I then shared with him that it was interesting timing of the question, as I had just had a powerful vision a few days prior, which brought euphoric tears to my eyes.
A huge smile adorned his face, his eyes noticeably becoming larger, as I then began to share.
I told him that after a recent meditation session, I began journaling what it is that I would love (I recommend doing this for yourself too, if it’s not a current practice you already have).
Within moments of even asking myself the question, a vision appeared.
It was of me at a podium receiving some type of award that had to do with one of the novels I had written.
It was outside and there were about 50 people present.
I saw my partner in the front row, as well as other people who have deeply inspired me on my path of life.
I saw my Writing Coach (Lauren Sapala), high school basketball coach (who has not only been supportive of me in some of my darkest hours, but has also repeatedly communicated to me that he deeply believes in me and what I’m bringing to the world), my sister (who was the first person to read my unpublished blogs, when I had a deep fear of putting myself out there), one of my previous Business Coaches (Melissa Ford) who I felt inspired to work with (after reading her published book), and about 15 others (whom I won’t include here, but have actually written down their names, to ensure I remember).
I was speaking to this audience and expressing gratitude for the opportunity of not only being there, but for the opportunity in being recognized for doing something that I absolutely love.
I shared how with all due respect, while I was appreciative of the award, it means so much more to me than just the material object itself.
I thanked the spirit of my mother, for continuously nudging me to read from as early as the 4th grade (though back then I had no interest in it).
I thanked the spirit of my father, who’s passing in a way forced me to grow up much earlier than most (which I was grateful for everything that had since ensued, on the path of being the man I am today).
I thanked my sister, writing coach, and a few others who continuously nudged me to write (at periods when I was frustrated or dismissive of it).
I then became very chocked up, as tears poured down my face (in the vision and in real life).
I cried, and then cried some more, and then followed that up with more tears.
I could ‘FEEL’ every aspect of this vision within my whole entire being.
The present outer environment means nothing to me.
I have lived that experience and know with 100% certainty in every cell and fiber of my whole entire physiological being, that this is being created in the physical reality too.
I’m already living it, believing it, and being it, therefore it is and shall be.
Several years ago, I had a vision of being a Coach too.
I shared it with a few others, and while most were supportive, there were some very close to me who dismissed it altogether and stated verbally that I’d be an idiot for leaving the high-end executive sales role I had at the time.
However, my vision was deeper than what they could see.
I could already feel it, taste it, be it, and in my mind (at the time), I was already living it too.
Fast forward to today and I’m physically doing exactly what I expressed I would be doing, in coaching.
Plus, I’ve also:
- Traveled to over 20+ countries
- Worked with clients in four different continents
- Supported multiple clients who have transitioned out of careers that no longer served them, to doing work today that they absolutely LOVE
- Spent a summer abroad three times (twice in Europe and one in South America)
- Fulfilled a vision of moving abroad to Costa Rica (which was in cultivation years before it ever took place) … have I mentioned that I hadn’t even visited the country once before moving here?
- Have coached and supported executives in completely transforming their health in the NFL, NBA, and MLB (as well as international marketing companies and startups)
- And have led Men’s Groups of heart-centered, ambitious, and visionary leaders who are committed to living a life of mastery and tapping into their fullest potential
I mention all of these to say, it’s truly all about what YOU desire.
Not what a friend, society, mom, dad, neighbor, relatives, or anyone else who may have a voice (or potentially be in your ear).
When we take complete responsibility for our entire lives, it creates the space for us to look at EVERY opportunity as being necessary for our continual growth.
We take control of our own inner peace and happiness.
We create and live a life on our OWN terms.
We fall in love with the journey, and when we feel ‘stuck,’ we embrace and love ourselves during those times too.
As when we do, and create the space to truly ‘be’ with our emotions, we’re then able to reflect and ask ourselves “what is it I would truly love?”
And from there, we can mindfully see, be, and create the necessary actions that lead us towards where we ultimately already are inwardly (but are now living in vibrational harmony with). Attracting the people, environments, and unexplainable synchronicities to us, which continue expanding us into our greatest and most aligned selves.
Always remember, you are a POWERFUL Creator (rather you know this consciously or not).
Wouldn’t life be more fun if we truly took a stand for ourselves, our happiness, and what brings us the greatest sense of joy within our lives?
I believe so.
And deep down, no matter where you are or what you may be experiencing in your life at the time of reading this, if you’ve read this far, I believe you do too.
With Love,
Brandon
P.S. –
I presently have two (2) 1:1 coaching spots available for purpose-driven professionals who are the following:
- Heart-centered, ambitious, and self-motivated
- Freedom seeking + very independent minded
- In a place in their lives where they’re done hiding behind fear, and ready to truly take their next leap forward
- Walkers to the beat of their own drum, choosing to go against the grain and set their own unique path
- Open and ready to do the work, embracing the inevitable times of discomfort, in order to expand past their comfort zone and reach their next level
- Ready to proactively change and let go of their ‘smaller selves,’ in order to create more space to manifest the higher version and vision in which they have for their lives
- Visionaries who have a deep sense that right now, at this exact moment, they are on the cusp of a big leap in their life, and KNOW this within every fiber of their being
If you clearly see yourself in what I just shared, and would like to apply to be considered for one of the two available spots, then click here to set up a 30-minute Discovery Call to see if there may be a mutual fit in us working together.
🙏🏿💜