Summer in Finland: Top 3 Things I Learned
It’s been just over six weeks since officially arriving to Finland. My partner and I (who’s originally from the country) decided some months back to sell off and donate a good portion of our belongings, put the remainder of our stuff in storage, and move to capital located in Helsinki, in order change up our routine and spend the summer here. Freedom and minimalism are two aspects that we both place a high value on, so while the decision to come here wasn't the easiest, for us it was one where the pros far outweighed the cons. Also experiencing the Finnish culture, taking in the calm and more introverted environment, and learning more about my partners’ upbringing, were personal motivations for me. One of the aspects of myself that I’ve learned through traveling to other foreign lands, is my insatiable curiosity to explore and the excitement of just immersing myself into new and completely unknown environments. While I did spend two weeks here last winter, the process had quite a bit of moving parts. I was balancing meeting a tremendous amount of new people, adjusting to a different time zone (8 hours ahead of my home state in Texas), and meeting new potential family for the first time, so it was quite a bit to digest (and that’s not even taking in how aggressively cold it was, with temperatures averaging in the low 20s). This time I was better prepared on knowing what to expect and knew I’d be here for two whole months, which helped in forming a better sense of routine and accommodation. With all that being said, here are a few things I’ve learned about myself while being in this beautiful, quiet, and nature filled haven with close to 5.5 million inhabitants.
Going with the Flow of Life is an Absolute Must
When I originally came out here, I had big plans of focusing more on my writing and putting more content out through the different social media platforms. What actually happened was my desire to write and use social media in general became less and less a priority (the more I adjusted to being here). It was as if my mind wanted to, but my body was communicating to just create some much-needed space for myself. This actually led me to go on a three-week social media sabbatical.
No writing
No posting on any platforms
No opening, or mindlessly scrolling on any platforms
Apart of me was a bit uncomfortable with this, as it was completely against the expectations that I had set for myself prior to coming out. However, I knew it felt right. Even as someone who uses social media as a primary tool to share more of myself with the intention of connecting with others, I still often have love and hate battles on using the medium. I do greatly understand and appreciate its value, however I find the whole process to be a bit obnoxious and inauthentic at times. There’s already sooooo much noise in the world on a day-to-day basis that we all on some level must penetrate through, that I feel getting caught in the spiral of social media can take away more of our precious quiet time. FOMO (fear of missing out) is real and something many people suffer with. One of the primary aspects that I find with many different clients I work with is the need to slow down. Life is moving too fast for them and at a speed that doesn’t support them in their journey of personal development. I recognize this clearly because it’s something I’ve experienced multiple times myself and now pay very close attention in monitoring it within myself. Any tool or mechanism can have a positive or nefarious impact. The brain is so powerful in that whatever you feed it, it will generally try to become. With social media, you’re feeding it a diverseness of messages (rather consciously or subliminally) that over time can have an impact of how one may see the world. If you feel like your clock is sped up (like there’s not enough time in the day) or as if you’re incapable of fully relaxing, then taking a social media detox may be just what you need in order to slow down and smell the roses. In a world that is constantly pushing for more more more, I really do believe that slow is the new sexy. Being intentional with ones time, where one focuses his or her attention, and just taking in the present moment and all the glory that comes from it is a beautiful opportunity to create a boundary within yourself. One that puts you first and is heightened to catch imbalances in their treks. One that says it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, but rather what are you doing to uplift yourself and uniquely take care of the human vessel that is you.
Choose Humanity First
One of the main inner challenges that has been an ongoing battle within myself is choosing the best ideology that makes the most sense not only for me personally, but humanity as a whole. Growing up in the US has taught me through necessity, the need to be very individualistic. In a culture that thrives on hard work, long hours, no excuses, and accomplishment, I still find myself harboring some of this ideology deep inside of my bones. The simple reason for this is I grew up as a societal underdog. My father passed shortly after my 12th birthday and I witnessed from a front row seat the necessity to put so much of yourself towards your profession in order to survive. I watched my mother work long hard hours within the corporate finance industry and the amount of stress this caused her in the responsibilities of balancing work, providing food, and taking care of bills for the family. I thought to myself, I’m going to my bust my ass through all odds and achieve greatness in this world (no matter how tough or arduous the process may be). The most likely thought of realization that would lead me there is through professional work. That’s by and large that’s the American way right? That’s how you prove yourself to society and show that you not only belong, but also are an accomplished individual amongst the masses of others who are hustling to survive and prove themselves in the process too. So that’s what I did. I held onto an inner drive for life that would overcome anything or anyone who would attempt to stand in my way. The only thing is now that I’ve seen different ways of functioning and societies who genuinely put people first, it’s created an uncomfortable divide within myself that I’m still battling to figure out. Here in a Democratic Socialist country like Finland, they believe in taking care of the basic needs of their citizens. The three main areas I find the most inspiring are:
Free universal healthcare provided to all citizens
Free college education (with an additional stipend to help students pay their bills)
A four week paid yearly vacation for its workers
When hearing this for the first time upon meeting my partner, I was literally speechless and thought to myself that it was hogwash or an unrealistic dream. Fast forward to researching the country, reading a book “Nordic Theory on Everything” (which vividly compares the USA to Finland from a Finnish native who married an American and moved to New York), and now currently being here for over a month and half, I find myself upset in dealing with the reality on how backwards things are in my home country. Admittedly, I’m not the most political savvy or a historian who can deeply speak to all the intricate processes of the United States. However, I can speak as someone who’s spent over 30 years there and has personally experienced the following:
Having had two prior surgeries that cost over $60K total
Taking out over $30K in education loans to pay for college
Previously seeing the amount of stress that high medical bills and prescription drugs can cause (through the eyes of both of my now deceased parents)
I think to myself, if my parents and I would have just grown up in another part of the world then those student loans and medical bills would’ve been non-existent. It’s quite the dichotomy, but while being out here has been a great respite from seeing all the financial, emotional, and mental struggling that is prevalent in the US, it has also been a constant reminder of what a society looks like who genuinely puts their people first. I do however feel grateful to see it, as it’s showing me just how off balance things are back in the homeland and why we as a people must do something to bring more awareness of this inhumane irregularity to the eyes of the masses.
Real Change Starts from the Inside
No matter who’s in the presidential office, what party line one may lean towards, or what situation they may personally find themselves in, real change can only come from the inside out. It doesn’t matter how many material possessions you own or what chaotic vibes may be going on in the external environment, the only way to promote real change is to do so within yourself first. Taking full responsibility for all of ones actions for where they are in the present moment is the first step to initiating any form of real tangible change. This however is not an overnight process. We’re always constantly evolving into what our environment and daily actions lead us towards. If there’s something deep down that you know is no longer serving you, nothing outside of yourself is going to ever sustainably change the paradigm. Different situations of life may bring one closer to recognizing different patterns, but in order to fully actualize and change a behavior, one must openly accept who they are at the present moment and visualize who they want to be in the future. For years I had a daily habit of smoking cigarettes. I knew deep down it didn’t serve me, but I was addicted to the routine and it provided a consistent escape from reality. Anytime I would feel a bit anxious, I’d fire up a cigarette. I battled with this for many years until I one day made a commitment to stop (cold turkey). I looked at what I wanted in the future and what habits I had in the present moment that could prevent me from fully stepping into that visualized ideal of myself. While not easy to break at the start, I kept thinking forward and that kept me motivated to continue the newly forming habit of not lighting up. I don’t mention this to brag but more as an example of life in general. Be the change that you want to be. The more and more of us as a collective, who continue to push ourselves on the path of self evolution, the better the world will continue to be and the more humanity will win out in the long run.
With Love,
Brandon