3 Steps to Finding Your Purpose
What is the meaning of life?
The answer to this question differs from person to person but one thing is certain:Each and everyone of us are aiming for happiness.
Nobody wants to be sad, upset, or feel as if they aren't valued. We all, on a primal level, aspire to feel inspired by our existence in this vast world.
No matter what our creative outlet is (and no matter who you are, we all have them), it's impossible to live a fully abundant life if you're not living in, or on the active pursuit of your purpose.
For some people, tapping into their purpose or life's mission was a relatively simple task. They knew from an early age what they intimately wanted deep from the core of their being and simply went after it. No matter what perceived obstacles were thrown their way, they kept a steady aim, trusted their heart, and kept chipping away towards their plan. However, for many of us, the modern noise and fast pace of life throws curveballs at us. Bills, parental pressure, debt, self-sabotaging thoughts, and societal pressure to conform to the status quo are common aspects that prevent many people from the path of self actualization.
Simply put, it's not easy.
Stepping outside and walking to the beat of your own drum is not a peaceful walk in the park...
"What will my parents think?"
“Will my friends accept me?"
"Can I even make money doing what I'm passionate about?"
“How do I even start?"
These are thoughts I'm more than familiar with and in the art of being honest, there's no way around them. However, one of the best ways to maneuver through the process is by becoming very aware of your deepest fears and consciously choosing whether you want to really aim towards conquering them, or choose to settle and become actively paralyzed by them.
The path of purposeful living is one that many claim they want for themselves but before they even attempt to put more focused attention around it, they come up with excuses or talk themselves out of it.
I can say with the sincerest of honesty that actively walking on this path of living on life's edge has been one of the most challenging, humbling, exciting, and frustrating, yet most fulfilling experiences of my entire life.
It's constantly testing me to look at myself in the mirror and form solutions over excuses.
Just in the past 3 years, I've resigned from a lucrative corporate career, transitioned to living more minimally, traveled to almost 20 countries throughout the world, met and become engaged to the love of my life, launched my own online coaching business, and have been personally mentored by some of the most inspiring thought leaders in the health, wellness, and personal development space.
I feel extremely grateful to be in the position I am today.
However, I do recognize how challenging it can be just to start the soul searching process of finding your purpose.Here are the first three steps I used to locate it within myself:
1. Start a Happiness Journal (and keep with you at ALL times).
Neurons that fire together, wire together. A happiness journal is exactly what it sounds like... a journal to keep track of all the things that make you happy. Not only that, but you'll notice by making this a daily practice, more and more happiness ideas will come to your mind. I've found the best way to begin is by setting a consistent daily time and period to sit down and write all of your ideas out on paper. Maybe you spend the first 20 minutes of lunch everyday listing all of your activities or maybe it's in the evening just before dinner time. The most important thing is to actually do it and be consistent in keeping up with it. After you've finished your daily 20 minutes of brainstorming, keep the mini notebook with you at all times in order to be able to brain dump any other ideas that come to you outside of your scheduled practice time. As an example, here are some of the happiness ideas I wrote in my journal since beginning the process a few years back:
Intimate one-on-one communication
Studying personality types and human psychology
Reading self improvement books
Food & nutrition counseling
Being outside in nature
Traveling to new places
Listening to relaxing music
Spending time at coffee shops
Eating good high quality food
Connecting with open-minded people
Running outside
Interacting with and learning about different cultures
These are just a few but I think you get the gist. By writing out all the things that fill up your happiness bucket, you become more aware of exactly the things you want and appreciate. Not only that though, it's also, in a sense, an active meditation that energetically promotes growing levels of inner happiness.
2. Identify the biggest obstacle you're either currently dealing with or have already overcome.
It's real easy to look at our biggest vulnerabilities or life challenges from a negative scope. This is normal as the brain is wired to be comfortable. The human brain doesn't want to deviate too far from the unknown and obstacles are the antithesis of comfortability. However, what if we decided to look at this from a sense of self empowerment? Instead, choosing to believe that the most challenging situation you're currently experiencing is a not a mistake but meant for you to completely embody in order to understand at a deep level and teach others how to go about overcoming it. This, for me, was growing up in dysfunctional household. It wasn't until I became older that I realized my upbringing was a bit unconventional and had played a major role in many of the challenges throughout my teenage and adult years. My father passed away when I was 12 years old from cancer and mother raised me, my brother, and sister to the best of her ability. None of us had the same biological dad and my mother never remarried after her and my dad separated years before his passing.I remember being embarrassed to tell others (especially in intimate relationships) that I had two siblings from different dads. Not only that, but I vividly remember asking God what did I do to deserve this life. At the age of 11, I had an emergency surgery to remove a tumor the size of a grapefruit that had been growing inside of me for who knows how long. Less than six months later, while still recuperating from the surgery, is when my pops passed away. Six years after and in my senior year of high school, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. "What did I do to deserve this?" I remember thinking. I literally started throwing middle fingers up to the sky and shunned any belief that there was indeed any higher power outside of myself. I was angry. I was sad. I was upset. I didn't understand the why behind all of these.
Fast forward to today and I feel extremely fortunate to have experienced all of these prior events. I needed them for my own healing journey and they've led me down a long and continual journey of the self.I mention this to say, you have a hero story as well. EVERYONE has one.
Believe in yourself and understand the more attention you put towards the things that make you the most vulnerable, the more of an impact you can make in helping others who may have a comparable path and embody a similar state. You can only help people to the degree that you help yourself. Be compassionate with yourself and embrace your greatest challenges as the areas that give you your biggest strength.
3. Ask your closest friends and relatives what 3 qualities about you they appreciate the most.
If you're really struggling to see discern your value and the top qualities you possess, reach out to those who know you the best. Your family, friends, and colleagues are the people who you more than likely spend the bulk of your time with and can speak to areas that you may not be able to easily see yourself. Be careful not to divulge too much information on this one though. Don't say "Hey, I'm doing an exercise where I'm trying to find my purpose and need you to tell me what's awesome about me!" Be more casual and just say "I'm curious... What are three things you enjoy or appreciate about me the most?" This takes the pressure off of them and makes it more of a conversation instead of presenting an opportunity to overthink. You may even be surprised on some of the answers you get. The more people you ask, the wider of a picture you'll be able to paint and the easier it'll be to see if any connections exist. I remember being mildly put off by some of the answers I received when doing this. A response that came up multiple times for me was "Your ability to listen."
I remember internally thinking "that's weak." I was hoping for more concrete answers like "I appreciate how awesome you are at just being outstanding at everything!" Yeah, that's not realistic but you get the point...It's important to go into this with no attachments or expectations on the responses you get.
Doing so can set you up for frustration and even cause subtle resentment towards your loved ones. As I'm sure you can see, the further removed you are from your passion, the more work it may take to uncover that hidden treasure. However the best part is this process is 100% for your own self empowerment and doesn't require a dime to get started.If this speaks to you, let me be the first to say good luck and congratulations. You're already one step closer than many others, just by setting forth the intention of discovering it!
With Love,
Brandon