The Power of Looking Back

One of the most powerful, yet simple practices I've found in my own life is that of intentional reflection.

I remember purchasing my first Italian leather journal from a mall in my hometown back in 2015.

The year leading up to that moment was, at the time, one of the most challenging periods I had experienced to date.

My health went from highly efficient to overstressed and exhausted, leading to over twenty pounds of added weight.

My mother (rest in spirit) began experiencing health challenges to the point where I was missing a considerable amount of work to take her to and from doctors as well as hospital appointments.

I felt like my internal clock was ALWAYS sped up.

Relaxing and unwinding felt nearly impossible.

Even my primary outlets for reducing stress, running and weightlifting, had taken a nosedive.

I was a shell of myself.

I felt a deep sense of fear and shame around how I was showing up, as well as guilt in being perceived as successful by others while internally feeling like an imposter.

After a period of feeling isolated and afraid to open up to others (for fear of being judged as a failure or viewed as an excuse maker), I chose to proactively reach out to a naturopathically-minded Health Coach, based on a recommendation from a friend.

To this day, I remain deeply grateful for their support.

Not only did it drastically improve my physical, mental, and emotional health, but it also led to a greater embodied awareness of my professional purpose and the work I now do with men today.

Buying that journal became a catalyst for creating a new relationship with my own emotions, one that previously didn't exist.

Since then, I've purchased that same journal countless times, both for myself and for many clients I've had the privilege to support over the years.

And while journaling itself has been incredibly valuable, it actually isn't the most impactful reflection practice I've cultivated.

That distinction belongs to something much simpler:

And that is monthly personal and professional reviews.

That's it.

No need to say anything else, as we can end this writing right here with that bit of information 😉

All kidding aside, what I've noticed within my own life, as well as in many leaders I work with, is the tendency to become so focused on what's next, or where they're not yet, that they miss the power of reflecting on and celebrating what already is and was.

As an example, many people set yearly goals and then spend the next twelve months doing everything they can to accomplish them.

Nothing wrong with that.

In fact, I deeply respect ambition, discipline, and commitment.

However, what I've found to be uniquely valuable is creating intentional space to evaluate what's working, what no longer serves, what could be done differently, and what the greatest lessons have been during a given period of time.

I'm biased, but in my experience this is an absolute goldmine.

One of the biggest things I've personally noticed through these reviews is how often the lessons I'm meant to learn are already right in front of me.

There have been months where I felt frustrated that I wasn't making progress quickly enough toward a particular goal, only to sit down and realize how much growth, learning, and meaningful movement had actually occurred.

Not because the goal had been fully achieved.

But because I was so focused on what hadn't happened yet that I wasn't fully seeing what already had.

Those moments have become incredibly valuable to me.

They remind me that growth isn't only found in the next milestone. Often it's found in recognizing what the journey itself is already revealing.

To me, that's one of the greatest gifts of reflection.

It slows the process down enough to create awareness.

Awareness around what's working.

Awareness around what's no longer serving.

Awareness around where energy may be leaking.

And awareness around what may want more of our attention moving forward.

I mention this because one of the things I often hear from leaders is that "there just isn't enough time in the day."

And what can happen is that someone spends an entire year pushing toward goals, only to arrive at the holidays exhausted, disconnected, and already feeling behind before the next year has even begun.

Is there anything inherently wrong with that?

No, not at all.

And if that's a way of operating that genuinely serves you, then by all means continue.

However, what I've found is that when intentional monthly reflection practices are incorporated throughout the year, there tends to be a deeper appreciation for both the journey and the lessons that emerge through it.

There is an opportunity to look back and clearly see the accomplishments, challenges, insights, and growth that may have otherwise gone unnoticed.

Then, when the end of the year arrives, you're not attempting to reflect on twelve months all at once (if even at all).

You've already been doing it along the way.

The coolest part is that the insights are coming from your own lived experience.

Not from someone telling you what they think you should see.

But from what you've actually observed yourself.

I am not one of those coaches who subscribes to the "hustle, hustle, hustle" mentality or believes in continually pushing beyond what the body, mind, and spirit can sustainably maintain.

I've played that game before.

While parts of my life may have looked successful from the outside, internally there was a glass house.

I was riddled with fear, performance anxiety, and a constant pressure to keep chasing what was next.

In doing so, I rarely took the time to acknowledge the growth, learning, and accomplishments that were directly in front of me.

One of my favorite sayings is:

Practice equals progress (not perfection).

When I reflect on who I am today and how I've learned to relate to myself over the years, I see a substantial difference.

Not because I've arrived somewhere.

But because I've become more willing to slow down, look honestly at my life, and do my best to learn from what I see.

If this resonates with you and you'd like the handful of questions that I personally reflect on each month (as well as the ones many of my clients now use too), feel free to send me a direct email to brandon at brandonbennett.com

I'd be glad to share them with you.

With Love,

Brandon