Pushing vs Curiously Listening
I recently had an experience that I’d like to share with you.
One morning I woke up feeling a bit differently than I typically do.
There was a sense of anxiousness moving through my chest.
Almost like a dull pressure, to the point where I noticed a subtle, yet clear, constriction within my breath.
Typically, I start each day with certain practices that support my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. This has been a ritual of mine, in different forms, for nearly two decades.
Recognizing that I had a pretty full work day ahead, a part of me felt tempted to move past what I was noticing and just “push” through what needed to get done.
However, as I slowed myself down, placing my hand over my chest while laying in bed, a deeper part of me felt it might be more impactful to create some space to breathe and journal around what I was experiencing.
As I sat there with my eyes closed, breathing deeply into the base of my stomach, I noticed resistance arise within my mind.
Thoughts like, “Get it together, Brandon,” or “Is this really necessary right now?”
I noticed the thoughts, but kept my breathing steady and my eyes gently closed.
After a few moments, I felt a slight release in the tension within my chest. Still there, but not as strong.
From this place, I asked myself:
What is the emotion that I’m noticing right now?
I mentally moved through a few options.
Anger, no.
Joy, no.
Sexual or creative, no.
Sadness, no.
But when I landed on fear, I could feel something.
“What fear am I noticing within me?”
Almost immediately, without thinking, I said out loud:
“It’s fear around my finances.”
Interesting.
I stayed with that.
Continuing to breathe, I reflected on other moments in my life where I had felt something similar.
One was a few months before I transitioned out of my corporate consulting role (a decade prior).
Another was last year (2025), and it was surprisingly during my highest income month ever.
And then, this moment.
So I asked myself:
What’s the common thread between these?
Staying curious, I noticed what was coming through:
1. In all three scenarios, there was a thought rooted in “not enough” around finances
2. In all three, I was actually financially secure
3. A thought of, “I should be doing more”
That last one landed.
I could feel it.
The word should was creating an internal experience of not doing enough.
And from there, the tension made more sense.
I could see how my mind wanted to approach the day, while my body was asking for something different.
To add context, I also felt some disappointment from the previous work day.
I had the sense that I could’ve done more, and I had carried that into the morning.
Even though I had a full, yet spacious day ahead, I was still holding onto thoughts of what I “should’ve” done differently in the previous one.
As I continued to sit with all of this, without trying to change or fix anything, I felt a growing sense of clarity and relief move through me.
By the end of the practice, there was a noticeable release.
And interestingly, the day that was already full began to feel lighter than the previous one where I had less on my plate.
I felt gratitude for taking the time to explore what was actually there.
This is something I support my clients with often, creating a space to see their thinking more clearly, and to uncover blind spots that might otherwise go unnoticed.
But in this moment, it felt meaningful to do it for myself.
I share this as an invitation.
Not as a rule, but as another way of relating to moments that feel off.
The easiest path would’ve been to push through the day as planned.
And there’s no judgment in that.
But what I’ve noticed, both in myself and in many of the men I work with, is that the tendency to over-push can quietly block deeper clarity and breakthroughs.
One of my core intentions in life is to live with a sense of full aliveness, authenticity, and inner alignment.
And in my experience, that becomes difficult when everything is oriented toward what’s next, without taking time to understand what’s here (in the now).
This is the work.
Not always the most exciting, but often the most liberating.
And it doesn’t really end.
Each new level brings another opportunity to see more clearly, to release what no longer serves, and to move forward with greater alignment.
So I’ll leave you with this:
What is something you've been noticing within yourself lately that may be asking for deeper attention?
And what might shift if you gave yourself the space to actually feel it, instead of pushing past it?
With Love,
Brandon