The Power of Aligned Communication
I want to talk about the power of aligned communication.
It feels very alive for me right now, as this theme has come up in multiple coaching sessions throughout the week.
Just prior to writing this, I had a conversation with a client where I “called them forward” around something they had previously committed to, but didn’t follow through on.
I intentionally use the phrase “calling forward.”
To me, it means speaking in a way that invites a more elevated version of someone to step into the moment.
In the past, I would’ve used the phrase “calling someone out.”
And while that may work in certain contexts, I’ve noticed that when I came from that place, there was often some attachment to being right, or proving a point.
Years ago, during my first men’s group, I was introduced to the distinction between the two.
And I was on the receiving end of being called “forward” many times.
At the time, it was one of the most challenging experiences of my life.
But looking back, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for those men.
They were willing to be fully seen, and to hold me to that same standard.
Even when I resisted it.
Especially when I resisted it.
I was recently on a call with a client of mine that I haven’t worked with in years.
Unprompted, they reflected back how they experience me as being a very present and intentional communicator.
They asked if I had always been that way.
I immediately let out a subtle laugh.
A memory of a very different version of myself came forth.
It was in the aforementioned men’s group, which I was a part of with seven other guys.
We would meet regularly and share what was most real and present for us, whether that be a challenge we were navigating or a new potential we felt called to step into.
The intention was to create a space grounded in presence and honesty, where we could access more of our inner power.
At one point, I was sharing something alive for me to the group, and before I finished, one of the men asked if he could reflect something back to me.
I said yes.
He said, “My experience of you, Brandon, is that you’re speaking completely from your head. I can’t really feel you. The pace of your words feels too fast, and instead of looking at us, your eyes have been looking upward the entire time.”
I immediately went on the defensive.
“That’s bullshit. I’ve been looking at you guys, and I feel like I’m speaking very clearly.”
Another man jumped in.
“Alright, let’s take a vote.”
“Raise your hand if you agree with Brandon.”
Not a single hand went up.
“Raise your hand if you agree with Trey.” (Not his real name.)
All seven hands went up.
I was furious.
It felt like I was being attacked.
Thoughts started racing through my mind.
“They have it out for me.”
“They don’t know what they F they’re talking about.”
I shut down.
Nothing was getting through.
While sharing this story with the gentleman I mentioned earlier, he asked, “What changed?”
The truth is, I kept showing up.
Week after week.
And after hearing similar reflections again and again, something eventually clicked.
Not in a forced way, but in a moment of realization.
These men weren’t against me.
They deeply cared about me.
And they were offering me something I couldn’t see on my own.
They needed nothing from me.
Which meant there was no agenda.
Just truth.
Over time, I began to soften.
To listen.
To experiment with speaking from a different place.
Less from my head, and more from something deeper in my body.
It didn’t happen overnight.
But as I stayed with it, my communication began to change.
And with it, so did my relationships.
My business.
The depth of connection I was able to experience with others.
I don’t share this to position myself in any particular way.
Just as an honest reflection of the journey I’ve been on.
Am I perfect?
Not at all.
And I actually no longer have any desire to be.
But I am committed to the continual refining of myself, in order to allow something greater to move through me more clearly.
To me, aligned communication is when the heart, mind, and body are in sync.
When there’s coherence.
When what you’re saying is not just coming from thought, but from something integrated within you.
That’s what creates real impact.
Not just in what is said, but in how it’s felt.
I also believe this is a big part of why we’re here.
To bring something meaningful forward.
Something that calls us into a greater version of ourselves in the process of expressing it.
Often, that comes with both excitement and fear.
Because we can sense who we’re being asked to become.
And part of that path involves learning how to be with ourselves more deeply along the way.
Not just pushing toward the outcome, but creating from a place that isn’t rooted in fear.
Will we always get it right?
Of course not.
But being in the arena, learning, adjusting, and growing toward something meaningful, is a hell of a lot better than sitting on the sidelines, not playing at all.
So I’ll leave you with this:
Who in your life, someone who needs nothing from you, is calling forth a greater version of you?
With Love,
Brandon