How Yoga & Meditation Have Changed My Life
Whether it's the pain of your first relationship breakup or the excitement around going to your first live sporting event, life is a continuum of memories...Some of which we vividly remember better than others.
One of those for me was the very first time I attended a yoga class.
This happened in January of 2014 and the path that led me to even being remotely open for it, was an unlikely one. Several months leading up that point consisted of a lot of drinking, womanizing, and not paying any attention to what my body was communicating to me. These ongoing patterns reached a climax when I was arrested for a public intoxication. I remember thinking at the time that I completely deserved it and that there was no doubt the universe was giving me a clear wakeup sign. A sign that I really needed to take a deep look in the mirror and re-evaluate what I was doing with my life. In came yoga. It was highly recommended by a close friend who had received great value since incorporating practice into their own life. Not only that, they had been actively nudging me to give it a try myself for quite some time. I was a bit unsure of what to fully expect, as well as mildly arrogant in thinking I was too physically fit to the point of not needing it.
However I intuitively knew I needed to get out of my comfort zone and make a drastic change. It realistically was the only chance I had of restoring some sense of balance back to my life.It's now been over four years since the day of that first session and what was once a casual every now and again habit, has now turned into a habitual daily practice. Not only that, I became so fascinated and connected to the the art, that I went through a full month immersion program in South America to dive in and study various aspects of it, in route to becoming a Certified Yoga Teacher. To say I've greatly benefited from the practice would be a vast understatement.Here are the top 5 benefits I've received since embarking on my personal yoga journey: 😁
1. Improved Emotional Communication
I grew up in a household where fully expressing your emotions was a no-no. Anything that leaned towards anger or sadness was to be muted or swallowed. This childhood pattern of holding onto deep emotions without fully expressing them manifested in my late teenage and early adult years as having explosive anger tantrums. Since I had spent so many years allowing certain emotions to build (without having any verbal outlet), I became a smoldering time bomb in many personal as well as intimate relationships. I was great at holding onto many layers of unexpressed emotions until they reached a point of cutthroat eruption. At this point, instead of openly communicating or having a cordial back and forth with the other, I would throw out enraged laser sharp daggers with an inability to handle any objective criticism offered about me. However, since practicing yoga I have become much more in tune with the internal emotions I feel in the present moment and do a much better job of actively communicating those feelings. Whereas in the past I was timid or afraid to speak up (causing them to stack on many layers over time), I now am much better able to recognize, accept, and communicate the wide array of feelings that we all on some level embody as apart of being human.
2. Heightened Self Awareness
Yoga Teacher Training in Yunguilla Valley of Ecuador (2016)
Due to having some health issues in my early adolescent years, causing me to have excruciating migraines which later led to the discovery and operative procedure to remove a benign tumor and my left adrenal gland at the age of 11, I've always had a higher level of bodily self awareness (through absolute necessity of survival). However since beginning my meditation and yoga practice, I've developed a much higher sense of what does and doesn't agree with my body on a nutritional level and I'm much more able to recognize when I begin to lean too much on certain things. Too much caffeine, exercise, and sometimes sweets (I'm looking at you, chocolate... 🍫) are 3 areas where I realize the need to monitor intake exists for me. I've noticed it can be really easy to have blurred lines around whether something is beneficial for you, or if it has become a crutch towards addiction or attachment. I'm grateful to now be able to discern this line more effectively and subjectively, making it more possible to catch changes much earlier (if at all) then I would have in the past.
3. Less Anxiety & More Control of Thoughts
Most of my life, prior to beginning yoga, was spent housing anxious energy. While I may have seemed normal to the casual observer, underneath that perception was someone who was very anxiety ridden. My brain used to move at what felt like a million miles an hour and with no conscious outlet of there being any other alternative outside of that. I remember thinking that maybe everyone else had some of the exact same experiences, therefore it was just something I would need to deal with in my life journey.It wasn't until I began meditating that I noticed just how wired up I was living. I felt like my clock was always sped up as if there was just never enough time to mentally process all that there was to do in a day. This constant battle was something I had become so adaptive to, that while I was still able to be efficient on the surface, I was exhausting and burning myself out internally.Through yoga and the art of conscious breathing, I didn't become so fixated on all of my thoughts and the frequency of them occurring decreased tenfold.
4. Improved Self Confidence
We all know the importance of having self confidence.It's one of the instant first impressions that others notice about you when either entering a room or introducing yourself. At a subconscious level, we're attracted to others who give off a lighter aura of self assurance and inner calm.Before I began meditating, I felt trapped in a reality where I couldn't fully be myself. I had many different personalities that I found myself switching back and forth between. I had my work face, a family one, and a face I wore for friends too. While these weren't over the top in how different they were, over time I began to notice how draining it was to play so many roles. Now I feel like I'm genuinely the same around whoever I meet or for the most part within all of my interactions. There's a level of authenticity that I've fully embraced and am comfortable in my skin no matter the time, place, or uncertainty of the situation. I now have a deep sense of knowing and accepting myself for who I am to my core and not feeling the need to tap dance or put on a show for anybody (which definitely hasn't always been the case).
5. Improved Ability to Handle Life Stressors
Life is never stagnant, both literally and figuratively. The earth is always rotating... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Knowing and respecting this is paramount in recognizing and accepting that we genuinely don't have control over every instance that occurs to us on a day-by-day basis. However, even with saying that, we all have the ability to choose how we react to any given situation. Before beginning yoga, I held a conscious belief that some people are just meant to be more stressed than others (and I was one of those people). I put so much attention towards my past upbringing and other uncontrollable life circumstances that I just tipped my hat and would go to internal panic mode whenever stressful events would occur. Not many people could see it on the outside from looking at me, but inside I was moving 100 mph with fearful thoughts, sometimes even leading to minor panic attacks.
When I began meditating I became much more calmer and not only in just the joyful or upbeat times. I became much more still and was able to remain fully present during some of the most challenging periods. One of which was watching the ensuing deterioration of my mother's health, leading to her eventual passing just short of a year ago. While I felt a deep sense of sorrow for what she was going through, I never felt panicked or overstressed when dealing with different doctors, hospital staffs, family, and funeral arrangements. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a mentally and emotionally tough time to, even to this day, put words to.
However, I know the #1 reason I was able to function and handle the abundance of tasks associated with the death of a loved one was due to the consistent practices of yoga and meditation in the years leading up to that point. In closing, living in modern society requires each and everyone of us to have a daily practice on some level. Mine happens to consist of yoga and meditation and for all the reasons listed above, I plan to continue them. While I'm still my own best case study, I can say that these practices have not only helped me have a better handle of life's intricacies, but more importantly it has given me a lens into better understanding the constant evolving layers within myself.