What to Do When Your Heart Isn’t in Your Work Anymore
Deep down do you know in the bottom of your heart that your present profession no longer serves you?
Maybe on an intellectual or societal surface level, you appear to have reached the mountaintop.
All of the years of collegiate studies, continual educational trainings, and absorbent amount of on the job hours, has led you to confidently and skillfully know that you’re very good at what you do.
However, underneath it all, if you’re being real with yourself, do you recognize that you’re truly not happy?
Deep down you feel a strong calling in your heart and soul to do more.
To do work that inspires you and fully utilizes the innate God-given gifts that you know to the depth of your being, you possess.
Can you feel or relate to any of this? If so, then this message is specifically for you.
For a period of years, I felt the exact same way.
I was making great money (a healthy six-figure income) and had all of the material possessions that I desired.
A condo in the heart of one of the premiere districts in Dallas (shout out to the M Streets neighborhood), multiple Italian tailored suits adorned in my closet (appreciate you Hugo Boss), and nearly every weekend I ate out at some of the finest restaurants in the city (gotta show love to my personal favorite – Kozy Kitchen).
On the surface I was living the American Dream.
Working for the #1 sports franchise in the world (presently valued at nearly $6 billon dollars), and at my time of hire, I was the only African-American in a Senior Sales Executive role within the entire organization.
I felt a deep sense of pride and appreciation for where I was at.
Many friends, family members, acquaintances, and colleagues looked up to me.
However there came a point in time where what I thought equaled happiness was genuinely put to the test.
A deep part inside of me desired to create a lifestyle where I felt I could create an even bigger and more meaningful impact in the world.
To do work that felt truly inspiring.
Work which supported others on the intentional path of tapping into their fullest potential.
I intuitively knew this as being possible for myself, as it was a big part of my own life’s journey up to that point.
The younger quiet and shy kid, who felt insecure in his speech due to massive stuttering, by now had morphed into a strong verbal communicator.
That kid who was afraid to stand up for himself, dealing with severe bullying throughout his youth, had now transformed into a man that was clear with his ‘yes’ and ‘no’s,’ and in his ability to speak up when he saw certain inequities.
And the sensitive boy who for most of his life wore a stoic mask of ‘everything being cool,’ (which had then graduated into him adopting this same quality in adult life), had transformed into being vulnerable and more honest in his communication with friends and family, but most importantly himself.
There was a deep part in my heart that knew my natural gifts could be used to a much greater degree, then how I was using them at the time.
It dawned on me that a big part of my success throughout my whole entire career, had to primarily do with three main aspects:
1. Being genuinely interested in people
2. Forming authentic relationships
3. Supporting others in solving ‘human’ problems
However, there was a period of time where my ego wanted one thing (to not rock the boat), while my heart craved the opposite (to leap forward).
I felt uncomfortably safe.
Like I wasn’t challenging myself enough to grow past the perceived ‘mountaintop’ vision, which I had previously created.
The reason why I felt this way was because on an intellectual level, I thought I had reached life’s peak (however on a deeper level, my soul felt differently and ‘knew’ that it was time to evolve even more).
Where I was at, was only a chapter in the book, not the finished novel.
It then dawned on me that the only way to truly continue bringing forth what I felt was my highest hearts vision (keyword being ‘felt’), was to channel my energy towards doing the things which were aligned within it.
Rather than judge myself for having a shift in what was inspiring me on a big picture level, I began embracing the inner shifts from a place of gratitude and appreciation, for where the next chapter in my life’s journey was clearly leading me towards.
Nearly six years ago I then chose to resign.
Upon meeting with my organization’s leadership team in my exit interview, I shared that there are millions of people who would absolutely love to work in my exact same position.
I mentioned that it would allow them to assess more of their hearts vision or purpose (just like I felt it had for me when I first began).
I shared how I respected each and every member of the team and that my desire to leave was completely a personal decision.
I shared that my heart was no longer in it, and that I’d be doing not only my professional reputation a disservice, but also one to the organization and executives who put their trust and faith in me, to show up and honor the agreement of bringing my best self forward to the office, each and every day.
However most importantly, the aspect that far outweighed everything else, was how I would feel each and every day, looking at the man in the mirror, if I chose to stay (as staying involved or ‘coasting’ in anything in life which I didn't love, was of no interest to me).
I knew the change was necessary.
I also knew that there wasn’t some surefire map of exactly how to maneuver through the waters of the upcoming unknown.
It was about me truly putting my faith in the universe, and doing my best to show that I was ready to fully surrender, and take the actions necessary to meet it halfway.
It hasn’t been the easiest at times since that transition.
I didn’t necessarily have much mentorship or guidance the first couple of years, as I recognize I brought certain behavioral patterns of ‘knowing it all’ or ‘being afraid to ask for help’ to my then newly forming profession as a Personal Life Coach.
Also, the majority (well actually all) of my professional relationships, as well as circles of friends, had consisted of those who were also in similar positions, as they were working for organizations themselves.
I didn’t have one friend or mentor at the time who had taken the same leap as myself, and I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t have an impact on my growth for a period of time.
I lived on my sister’s sofa for nearly 9-months.
You don’t know what you don’t know, and I greatly over invested my financial resources at times too, as there were many new shiny objects being thrown my way (which I had no guidance or awareness of how to navigate through).
One was working with multiple 5 figure marketing coaches, who I later learned were not the best personal fits for me (as they were more centered on using ‘fear’ based communication and strategy in order to tactically manipulate others into buying services… rather then lead from the heart, which is what feels most natural to me).
Then another was that I also invested in multiple 4 figure online programs, guaranteeing that if I followed a certain ‘system,’ I would be ahead of the pack and effortlessly build a six-figure coaching income (which again I later realized didn’t necessarily align to my personal values, as I appreciate the flexibility of pricing my services in a way that allows more people to access them, rather than creating a ‘premium’ for only a small handful of people).
A gentle word of advice I’d share from these experiences is that:
1. To be weary of trusting any Coach or product that ‘guarantees’ anything (as true growth and expansion requires a full commitment on both sides, especially during the often uncomfortable times when fears bubble up to the surface - do both parties lean into it, or does one retreat back to what feels comfortable)
2. When you’re first starting out, you don’t need to build a website, create a sales ‘funnel,’ purchase a logo for branding, or spend a bulk of time coming up with a clever or catchy position title
3. To focus on ‘practice = progress,’ rather than trying to be ‘perfect’ and appear that you know it all (in my experience people crave and love openness, as well as authenticity – it just creates more approachability, which the kind of people who I tend to resonate with, value as well)
All that to say I essentially completely started over from scratch, allowing one version of myself to die, in order to trust the process in the creation of a new and more aligned one.
Though I believe I’m still a work in progress (and always will be), to say I feel grateful for ALL of the experiences (personal investments included) since choosing to go in a different direction, brings a huge smile to my face.
A few of which would be:
- Traveling to over 20+ countries throughout the world
- Spending nearly two months in Ecuador to complete a Yoga & Meditation Teacher Training
- Spending a summer abroad in Finland
- Creating and attracting my beautiful Life Partner : - )
- Teaching 1:1 yoga and mindfulness to 8th-12th grade students for a year
- Supporting visionary coaching clients throughout not only the US, but in Thailand, France, South Africa, the United Kingdom, Luxembourg, Spain, and Germany to this point
- Creating a truly location independent lifestyle, working completely from my laptop and on my own created schedule
- Leading multiple men’s coaching groups centered around emotional awareness, authentic communication, and accountability in progressing forward in life
- And last by not least, presently living abroad in Costa Rica (where I have the privilege of living a slower lifestyle that’s deeply immersed in nature, and creates higher levels of creativity and spaciousness to do what I absolutely love – in writing and serving others who are going through a transition in life, and desire more intentional support)
I mention all of this to say if you have a dream or deep vision in your heart that flickers up from time to time (or even sometimes much stronger than others), then listen to it.
It’s there for a reason.
It’s coming from something far greater than maybe even words can express.
And the more one slows down, listens to the calling, and lives in the harmonic vibration of what they envision of their future selves (right now in the present moment), the more their lives will continue to unfold with unexplainable synchronicities that the mind is truly incapable of fully explaining.
Remember to believe in yourself, and be compassionate and gentle along the way too.
As when we go inside of ourselves and allow the depth of our light within to shine forth, it’s natural for turbulent tides to ensue.
We’re releasing layers upon layers that we’ve previously held onto (maybe even with a kungfu grip), in order to allow the perception of greater new possibilities to be created within our lives.
Over time this leads to the embodiment of aligning our entire minds, bodies, and souls, with the energy that genuinely allows us to expand forward.
As change truly isn’t hard, but oftentimes the attachment to our outdated story, is.
With Love,
Brandon
P.S. – If you’re in a place where you feel stuck in life, are tired of going at it alone, and could use some support in taking your next step forward, click here to apply for a Complimentary Discovery Call.
I’ll block off 30 minutes for you to share whatever it is that you feel led to, and afterwards I’ll answer any questions you may have on how it could look for us to work with one another in a one-on-one capacity.