Three Ways to Center When Life Feels Overwhelming

Our energy is our most prized possession.

I repeat, our energy is our most prized possession.

I mention this because lately there’s been a consistent theme in many of the client sessions as well as general conversations I’ve had with others.

That theme?

-   An inner sense of feeling overwhelmed, tired, and scattered in many different directions

“I tend to take on lots of projects that at first excite me, but tend to always leave me feeling scattered and exhausted.”

“My energy is being scattered in so many directions, that it feels like I’m only making progress in little ways.”

These were sentences communicated to me verbatim, by two different people in separate dialogues, just before choosing to write these exact words that you happen to be reading now.

I’ll be honest.

I can deeply sympathize with those who may feel like they’re navigating in a never-ending pit of quicksand, or as if they’re in the center of the ocean paddling with the greatest of velocities, but are barely able to keep their head above the water.

I get it.

God knows I most definitely get it.

Even as I write this with the intention of sharing the three most valuable mindset shifts that have been the most impactful for me in evolving my own personal relationship to energy management, it’s an area that I still to this day am humbly reminded of continuing to keep as a top priority.

Some of you may have already read it, but just a few weeks ago I myself returned from my 2nd 4-day silent retreat of the year (which I write about here in Why a Solo Silent Retreat is the Ultimate Mind-Body Reset).

Energy management has been a part of my greatest life’s work.

From previously overworking myself to the tune of sometimes 60-70 hours a week while working a near decade in high level corporate sales, to that graduating into modeling the same exact flow (or lack thereof) of both work and overwhelm (leading to a repetitive cycle of debilitating exhaustion and even burnout) when I ventured into the world as a Life Coach.

All of that to say, it’s taken me many years, but I can truly say I’ve created a deep and truly sustainable sense of balance within my life.

I’m a bit unconventional in that I’m not a big fan of the term work-life balance.

Why?

Because work is just an aspect (albeit an important one) of LIFE.

The perception of balancing the two creates a relationship to them both being separate from one another (at least in my opinion).

It was that non-serving mindset shift in itself, that personally led me to recreating a more sustainable work schedule, that just so happens to be a part of my overall life.

You follow me?

If this is reaching you at a time where it feels like it’s speaking directly to you, then what I’m going to share in the subsequent text can completely change your whole entire relationship to the management of both your personal energy and professional work for the better.

Some of the key areas that helps me speak more succinctly about this particular topic include:

-   Being both a highly sensitive yet very ambitious person by nature (which is recipe for overwhelm and burnout if not monitored carefully)

-   Having personally experienced countless burnouts from a mixture of people pleasing (too many inauthentic yeses) and no daily mental reset practice (always being connected to my cell phone or email)

-   A bachelor’s of science degree in Exercise Sport Sciences, as we as certifications in Mind-Body Psychology, Yoga & Meditation, as well as Holistic Nutrition

And last by not least, an immense inward passion to support others in absolutely thriving within their lives.

I’ve had:

-   Two near death experiences regarding health (including three intensive surgeries before I was 22 years old – all around my heart and abdomen)

-   Work performance anxiety (leading to patterns of being extremely hard on myself and mental health)

-   The experience of sustainably losing over 50 pounds (and keeping it off) of weight (here’s a before/after photo for you)

-   The constant feeling of being scattered and like my mind truly would never cut off (to the point of affecting the quality of my sleep)

Ultimately this has illuminated a realization that the base foundation of one’s true ability to thrive is their personal health (including that of the physical, mental, emotional, and one more that may sound like somewhat new terrain for you…. that being of their energetic health too).

If you’d like to spend more of your time operating from a state of peace, ease, and flow, then you would be served greatly by reading this entire writing to the very end.

So without further ado, let’s get to it :- )

Here are the top three mindset shifts that have been most impactful within my own life, as well as clients whom I’ve had the honor in mentoring along their paths to.

1. Develop a Daily Meditation Practice

Okay upon seeing this first recommendation, you either instantly:

A. Rolled your eyes (because you’ve heard of meditation and intellectually believe in it.. yet you aren’t actually doing it consistently)

B. You inwardly thought or spoke these words to yourself (“I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MEDITATE!” – maybe even in that same elevated tone) ;- )

C. You’re already very familiar with meditation, having had a consistent practice in the past (though you may feel you have soooo much on your plate, that you’ve forgotten or diminished its value)

D. You actually have a consistent meditation practice, but still often feel a sense of overwhelm (if this true, then tips #2 and #3 will probably end up rocking your world)

I want to start with something simple, as it is truly at the foundation of breaking the pattern of overwhelm.

As a life-long learner, I have spent countless hours (and dollars) into learning as much as I absolutely can about health, relationships, communication, spirituality, and personal development.

Out of the 100s of books I’ve read throughout the years and mid five figures I’ve invested in different certifications and receiving personal Life Coaching myself over the past 4-5 years, I have found nothing simpler (on an entry level) than the daily practice of meditation.

During the early parts of the pandemic in 2020, I was invited to speak to two different NFL organizations as well as a group of senior level female executives around “How to Reduce Stress and Anxiety in Uncertain Times.”

Guess what was at the foundation of all of my talks?

If you guessed meditation, then you would be right.

Yes, I know, it sounds soooooo simple.

However, in my experience, the simpler something is, the more sustainable it is to truly implement it in the long-term.

Now am I saying meditation is the end all be all of everything?

No, absolutely not.

However, what I am saying is that it is an exceptionally powerful tool in helping one slow down their mind, see and better handle aspects that may be stressful or uncomfortable, and form more clear and grounded decisions from a more centered place.

If you already have a daily practice, great, keep it up (I salute you).

If you’ve never done it before, that’s great too, what a beautiful and perfect time to experiment with a new practice that can completely help in changing your life for the better.

If you already have experience with a consistent practice in the past (though it’s falling to the wayside), no problem. You my friend now have a great opportunity to re-prioritize something that can help you better navigate forward (and vastly reduce the sense of scatteredness and overwhelm you may be experiencing).

2. Do a Scheduling Audit

Alright I want you to take a deep breath with me.

Actually, take a couple.

Breathe deeply into the base of your stomach, so that your belly rises on the inhale.

After a couple rounds, take a nice long auditory sigh out of the mouth on the exhale.

Even moan a bit (pushing that stale air from the base of your lungs, just outside of your beautiful body).

No judgement, but really do it :- )

Now I want you to set time aside (either now if you got it, or 30-minutes at a future date on your calendar).

During this time, you will do the following:

1. Go through every activity or event you’ve done or been to for the previous month

2. Mark if there was a rise or fall within your energy during said activity

That’s it.

Sounds pretty simple right?

Remember, that’s my go to, so you can expect nothing more from me (and that’s a relief in itself, right?)  ;- )

So, as you have your calendar in front of you and you make note of your energy throughout all of the different tasks, pay attention to if you see any themes.

As an example, as I do this for myself personally every quarter, on my calendar I noticed a significant drop in my energy whenever I would do either:

A. Back-to-back meetings

B. Have three coaching sessions in the same day (even if they were all spaced out with hours in between)

If interested you can read even more about this in one of my earlier blogs entitled “Why Back-to-Back Meetings Lead to Fatigue & Overwhelm.”

However, for the simplicity of this writing, we’re just going to focus on illuminating for yourself, those different tasks that build as well as diminish your energy.

This is important stuff too by the way.

In order to create any new tangible change (keyword being tangible), one must first become deeply aware as to what behaviors they are embodying that is leading to said result.

If you’re consistently tired or overwhelmed, it’s probably because of these three reasons:

1. You’re people pleasing, being too much of a “yes man” (or woman) who’s taking on far toooo much than what your body can sustainably handle

2. You’re not creating enough space of nothingness throughout the day (aka, you may be spending so much time in “doing” mode, that your “being” doesn’t know how to truly rest and relax)

3. You’re simply spending far more time doing activities that diminish rather than replenish your energy

Does that make sense?

After you’ve gone through and highlighted the rise and fall of your energy for ALL of the tasks on the calendar (again this is important stuff, don’t skip or minimize it), then reflect on these two (2) questions below:

1. What are those tasks/activities that I notice a consistent rise in my energy while or after I am doing them?

2. What are those tasks/activities where I feel a sense of contraction, tiredness, or overall depletion in my energy after doing them?

Again, be honest with yourself.

A corporate Sales Director client of mine with two kids, noticed after doing this exercise that by the time they arrive home from work in the evening, they usually would interact and talk to their kids right upon entering the house.

They noticed this actually depleted their energy.

Short version, they ended up creating an agreement with their family to have 30-minutes of solo time to themselves, upon walking into the door.

They’ve found going to their office with the door closed and clearing their mind organizing their next work day, to put them into a space that elevates their energy, and allows them to be even more present and engaged with their kids in the evenings.

Another client who is an executive director for an education based non-profit on the west coast, has found that waking up an hour earlier in the morning (before their partner and kid does), in order to have an hour alone to work and be within their own energy field, provides them with a noticeable uptick in energy throughout the rest of their day.

This simple tweak led them to within a week (actually a completely focused one-hour session), finalizing a project that they had previously put off for a month prior.

This project led to an additional $60,000 of funding for their foundation and an expansion of their global brand into one of the top cities and US markets.

Again, with just one simple scheduling tweak.

3. Create a Highly Intentional, Slowed Down Life

Does that sound a bit too “woo-woo” to you?

Hang with me, I’ll be brief in explaining why this nugget matters too.

We live in a fast paced, technologically driven and innovative world.

Frankly put, these things aren’t going to change.

One can either put their heads in the sand (pretending to live in a bubble where it doesn’t exist), or they can adapt their lives to be in a healthier and more rhythmic relationship to said advancements.

One of the things I consistently support different clients around (and yes, I know some of you are reading this with a sense of laughter… or are shaking your head and saying “Yea Brandon, we get it.”), is living an intentional life.

What does that mean?

It means slowing down and being highly intentional with everything it is that you do.

The words you communicate.

The media in which you take in.

The amount of sleep you find is uniquely necessary for you to thrive.

The people you surround yourself with.

The ultimate energy behind your actions.

This is what I mean by creating an intentional life.

The more intentional we are with all the areas above, the clearer we are with what are hell yeses and noes.

Simply put, if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. If it is a maybe it’s a no. 

You can watch more of my breakdown on how to truly differentiate between the two and live a hell yes life by tuning into this brief “How to Live a Hell Yes Life” video.

It’s unconventional to go against the grain.

And frankly put, slowing down and moving at a healthy pace for oneself is against the grain.

I would love to say it’s the norm (which is a reason I feel I am on the planet to help others more deeply embody), but it’s not.

Between overconsumption of social media, addictions to different stimulants like coffee and sugar, as well as the pervading toxic belief that a “hustle-culture” is where it’s at, we have our work cut out for us.

It takes courage to go against the wave.

It takes courage to put a line in the sand and create a more harmonized and mindfully intentional life.

It can bring up all of your insecurities and the outdated beliefs that you may have subconsciously taken on from parents, teachers, and society as a whole.

However, these aren’t excuses.

These are possibilities for personal empowerment, if given the right and intentional frame of mind (see what I did there?) ;-)

That’s why it’s up to YOU to take a stand for creating the life that you want to live in the world.

For “being” the person you deeply aspire to see in the world.

For cultivating a life which always reflects back inward, when seeing aspects that may disturb one’s inner peace.

Slowing down is a byproduct of living a highly intentional life.

A realized life of balance, that is keenly aware of “how” it feels to be off of such, with the even deeper awareness of “what” it inwardly takes in order to step back on the path of inner freedom.

I don’t make too many promises, but I’d like to offer one up to you right now.

I promise you that slowing down can truly change the trajectory of your whole entire life.

It can illuminate what the heart and soul deeply desire to bring forward.

It can greatly improve one’s health.

It can greatly improve one’s ability to “respond” rather than “react” on an emotionally communicative level.

It can enhance the presence in which you bring to both your intimate and personal relationships.

And most importantly, it can truly be a positive catalyst in elevating you towards living a life with more inner peace and personal fulfillment.

I know that has definitely been the case for me :- )

Slowing down… I thank you, I love you, I’m grateful to thee.

With Love,

Brandon