How to Gracefully Wave Goodbye to Fear
“Feel the fear and do it anyway”
Fear, it’s something we’re all intimately familiar with on one end, and sometimes completely unaware of on the other.
It can help protect us from danger, while at the same time prevent us from taking our next step in life.
I love it and hate it at that same time (though I’ve grown to recognize how it shows up for me and more times than not consciously choose to lean into it).
However just like everyone else, I’m far from perfect.
There are universal cues that each and every one of us will feel inside of our bodies and minds when the inner resistance of fear appears.
Our breathing becomes shallower, minds often begin racing with limiting thoughts, and we usually feel tightness somewhere in our bodies(for me that falls right in the middle of my chest).
Fear however, is a beautiful teacher for each and every one of us. Without it we wouldn’t grow, but on the opposite end, too much of it drags us down and deteriorates our health.
How can one show up with energy and vitality on a day-to-day basis if they are fully entrenched in fear?
I’ll tell you how.
They can’t.
It’s impossible.
How we appear on the outside is a direct reflection of how we think and feel inside, and living in a constant state of fear permeates to perpetually having fearful thoughts.
Fearful thoughts lead to one or two things:
Fearful actions (which can cascade into more actions that keep the fear cycle on high alert)
Inaction (due to paralysis analysis)
It’s safe to say that both of these states of being are not where any of us want to be, therefore that leaves us with the question of “how to push past fear?”
The first step is to slow down.
The clearer we become of our patterns and what is preventing us from being where we want to be, then we’re able to make more conscious and intentional decisions on what we can do to create a new one.
But the only (and I do truly mean only) way of doing so is to create enough quiet and undistracted space that allows us to look at our fears head on.
Set aside an hour of completely undistracted time on the calendar.
Completely turn off your phone and all other electronic devices.
Grab a sheet of paper or journal (a journal always wins when it comes to keeping track of reflections).
Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths, in and out of the nose with your mouth closed.
Secondly, set an intention.
What would you like to gain out of doing this exercise?
The answer to this question is completely individual, so just pay attention to what shows up for you when internally reflecting on it.
An example would be “I would like to authentically see why I struggle with sustainably losing weight.”
Now that your intention is set, begin writing down the past behaviors that have led you to where you currently are today.
For myself, when I struggled with yoyo weight in the past, my list would’ve included something like this:
Not exercising frequently and intensely enough
Eating a lot of sweets in the evening time before bed
Snacking too much in between meals
Not being disciplined enough to stay on track
Being lackadaisical in my commitment towards truly putting my health first
Repeating mentally rehearsed excuses on why “I can’t” do it
Write out as much as you can for your personal intention(the more the better).
While it may not feel like it at the time of doing it, this is a tremendous way to release built up inner tension, and it gives you a unique opportunity to allow pent up emotions and thoughts to be transmuted.
Once finished with your list, take a long deep look at each individual item you’ve written down.
Observe if any sensations arise in your body.
Whatever happens, happens. Just notice what appears without any sense of judgment or attachment to it.
Now after spending a few minutes reviewing your list, I’d like to you to answer the question below on a fresh new page:
“Why is it important for me to solve this?”
Then list out all the reasons why.
Some answers for me in the context of what I listed above would’ve be:
To feel more confident and self assured
To live a more healthy and happy life
To show up more powerfully in my professional work
To tap deeper into the most authentic version of myself
To utilize my unique strengths to there fullest capacity
Once finished with your list, take three (3) more deep breaths, this time continuing to inhale through the nose but now exhaling completely out of your mouth.
Referring back to both of your lists, contemplate on what you need the most at this time to take consistent action towards fulfilling the path of your “whys.”
What prevents you from taking action?
What will happen if you continue buying into the first portion of your list?
Are you at where you really want to be, or are you going through the motions and playing it safe (remaining in a perpetual cycle that keeps you from your next level)?
I know deeply what this feels like, as I’ve been there before.
At my height I was:
60 pounds heavier than my current weight
Highly addicted to sugar and sweets
A chronic coffee drinker (though still not possessing a great deal of energy with it)
Felt stuck in a perpetual mental cycle of either:
Not having enough time to do anything new (even the most important things needed for my growth)
Not feeling like I was in a place where I was actively pursuing the greatest version of myself
The thing is, there is absolutely no way to escape how we truly feel about ourselves. As again, the direct reflection of how we show up externally is completely in sync with the thoughts that we have about ourselves internally.
Will you choose love or fear?
The choice is yours.
With Love,
Brandon