Letting Go: The Power of Detachment

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Anything we attach ourselves to, gives power to it.

There’s an immense beauty of just living life with a set of open and observatory eyes.

It allows us to experience other humans and things as just that, experiences.

No one or thing is innately good or bad.

It just is.

Everything we react to, rather positively or negatively, is just a reaction to how we feel about ourselves.

I find this to be one of the most amazing aspects of life now, however I didn’t always see it from this frame of mind.

In the past I created unhealthy attachments to different friends, intimate relationships, and material objects.

My self worth and confidence was in direct correlation to the love or attention I was receiving by the opposite sex.

I would do my best to relate and spark up interest, however I would emotionally crumble if reciprocity wasn’t received back.

I would do the blame game.

“What’s wrong with me?”

I would default back to this same question anytime the recurring pattern showed its face.

This question in itself is from a “lack” state of mind, so no matter how you answer it, it’ll continue to lead to different internal areas of self deprecation.

Or another example would be in friendships.

We’ve all had close friends in our lives at one point or another who we genuinely thought would be apart of our inner circle for the rest of our lives.

However life happens, and some of the people we meet are only supposed to be in our lives for a particular reason, and over the course of a season.

On a material level I’ve also had to learn the hard way, on not attaching my self worth to money.

A memory that comes to mind while writing this is the summer before my freshman year of high school.

I was 14 years old and began working at my first job, Chick Fil-a.

The pay was $5.75 an hour and I felt like a celebrity.

At this age I also opened my first bank account (which my mother of course at the time signed for).

I worked around 20 hours a week throughout most of the summer and did a pretty good job of saving my money.

Towards the end of the summer and shortly before the start of the school year, it was time to go school shopping for clothes and supplies.

I was happy to help my mother out with the expenses and planned on surprising her by paying for a large chunk (if not all) of my clothes.

I remember this like it was yesterday.

I was in a Dillard’s department store trying on different outfits.

On one occasion I came out of the dressing room to get my moms opinion on one of the fits, however I left my wallet in my original pants hanging up in the room (with it actually partially exposed and expanded full of money).

It wasn’t until I put all of my clothes together and got to the register that I noticed it was gone.

Searching frantically in my pants and throughout the entire dressing room, it was nowhere to be found.

I was furious.

My intention was to pay for all the clothes.

It was my hard earned money, which I deliberately saved a portion of for this exact occasion.

I remembered that there was only one other guy I saw come into the dressing room at the time and I didn’t see him come back in for a second.

I went running around the mall looking for him, entering and exiting one department store after another.

Gone.

He was nowhere to be found and my summer savings of nearly$400 had suffered the same fate.

I was sick to my stomach, and this lasted many days afterwards.

I remember having so much anger in my heart for the person who took my earnings that I treated everyone around me as if they had played apart in its missing.

I was attached to that money.

I couldn’t let it go.

I remember my aunt telling me after a couple days that I needed to get over it and to stop worrying because that wouldn’t solve anything.

Admittedly it took me a few days, but I finally released all the inner tension and emotional attachment to the funds.

My mother ended up paying for my clothes as normal, but I learned a valuable lesson in:

1. Being more responsible with my wallet (to this day I’ve never left my wallet in a dressing room, as I always bring it with me now)

2. To not allow money to control me

What I lost was eventually replaced and I remember actually feeling a sense of compassion for the other kid who took it.

I wondered if he was in a dire situation and really needed the money or how I’d react if ever saw him in person again.

I felt at ease.

Even at this young adolescent age, I remember being at peace with my intention of helping my mother.

Though my attempt wasn’t a full success, her appreciation for the gesture was more than well received.

As the years of life continue to pass by, I notice the freerI feel.

I love people without truly being attached to no one.

I enjoy certain material possessions without them having any dictation on my happiness.

I have some friendships that are battle tested and even stronger today than they were years ago.

While others have naturally faded, where congruency was palpable during one period, but hasn’t aged with the same color.

I appreciate each and every moment that is presented to me.

I am thankful for each and every person whom I’ve interacted with at one point or another in my life.

I am humbled by the lessons I’ve learned (and continue to)each and everyday.

I feel a pure sense of just being.

I deeply know that I am enough, just the way that I am.

I confidently speak my authentic truth, no matter how it maybe received on the other end.

I only surround myself with other people who are living life on purpose.

I only coach people who are determined, conscientious, open-minded, action oriented, and who place a great deal of value in their own personal growth.

I get the beautiful opportunity to do what I love, each and everyday.

And through it all, the clearer I’ve become on what I desire, without being attached to it, the more and more I continue to attract into my life.

I am grateful for whoever lays eyes on this and am appreciative of however it lands for you.

Thank you for crossing paths with me at this time, and no matter what the future ultimately holds, I wish you nothing but continued peace, prosperity, and eternal happiness.

With Love,

Brandon