How I Lost And Kept Off Over 50 Pounds of Weight
This is me at a shade over 260 pounds (over 50 pounds heavier than current my weight).I had moved away from my home state for the first time to a new city (Phoenix) to begin my professional career working in sports business for MLB.During this time, in a highly competitive sales environment of other ambitious college graduates, I ended up winning a weekly revenue contest.The prize?A couple VIP passes to attend an NBA All-Star celebrity luncheon hosted by Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat (All-Star weekend was coincidentally in Phoenix that same year).I remember being pumped and excited to see who all would be in attendance. I was an infant in the sports business realm at the time and still was filled with the natural star struck and super fan aura that comes with seeing any celebrity or professional athlete in person.In the photo with me is Larry Fitzgerald, a current 11-time NFL All-Pro and future Hall of Fame wide receiver.I remember feeling like a little kid in a candy store. I asked a couple other professional athletes for pics too and they all kindly obliged.However, once I laid my eyes on the pics shortly after they were developed, that previous excitement wore off in record pace.“Damn, that can’t be me right?"Thing was, I grew up playing sports. I also was very active in college and maintained (or at least thought I did) that same lifestyle afterwards.I felt embarrassed. Ashamed.I remember friends and family being excited about my unique experience and wanting to see pictures of me and the celebrities too… you know, so they could share in the enthusiasm and joy.Nope.I locked them bad boys up and went hush on even mentioning that I actually had visual proof of it ever occurring.Would I still bring details around it, from a sense of pride and appreciation?Absolutely.However, you couldn’t have paid me with a trash bag full of money (ok, maybe I'm over-exaggerating) to actually pull out and show the shots though.It’s really fascinating to think about now, as I hadn’t ever really shared this with anyone.Well about a week ago, I just saw this pic myself for the first time in over five years... It was on external hard drive that I hadn’t touched in quite some time.Unexpectedly, upon going through the images again, I felt some deep emotions come right back to the surface.Do I still feel today the same way I felt back then regarding my appearance?No, not at all.Do I have anxiety or fear around ever feeling that way again in the future?No, I wouldn’t say so either.I think the biggest psychological difference from me then to now, was previously I had an unhealthy attachment to certain foods and had no understanding of what I was doing to myself and body on a physical and cellular level.That weight gain didn’t happen overnight, but that photo proved to be a wake up call for me. It brought me face-to-face with different patterns I had developed around how I was nourishing myself.Patterns that started as early as my childhood.I knew back then that food was a dynamic comforter for me, but now realize it was just a deeper expression of the relationship I was holding to myself.Anything that we feel a strong attachment to has a certain level of control over us. For some that could be money, sex, or material possessions (to name a few). For me during that time, it was food.I look back now and am thankful for the experience of having gone through the emotional rollercoaster that goes with yoyo weight fluctuation and personally trying a large variety of “diets” to put a band aid on what was universally being communicated to me…And that was that until I made a decision to create a healthier lifestyle around food, then the same frustration and inconsistencies would continue to manifest.I’m fortunate to be able to relate to many who may have struggled with the same throughout their lifetimes, or who maybe are just currently going through a bout of it.I’ve found that the first step is choosing to make health a priority.Second, taking the necessary steps to prove to yourself that it’s a challenge you’re willing to fight for and reverse.And thirdly, committing to the process (no matter how long, challenging, or arduous it may be).Just because I may look and feel different now, doesn’t mean I don’t remember what it’s like to not feel this way.It’s interesting because the process in itself has been a great teacher for me. Sometimes I’ve fallen off the wagon and other times I’ve been on the polar opposite end, almost to a level of obsession.I’d like to say thank you to the past, for reminding me of where I once was, and congrats to the future, for giving me something to continually aim and aspire for.If you can relate to this and find yourself at a time where you know your current habits aren't leading you to the greatest version of yourself, feel free to e-mail me at brandon@brandonbennett.com, I'd love to hear more about you and see if there's anyway I may able to support you.-BB