The Secret Behind Authentic Leadership
I recently was in deep dialogue with a C-Suite executive for one of the major professional sports leagues.
The conversation was centered around what they are seeing as far as shifts in the past 2.5 years since the COVID pandemic turned the world upside down for a period.
They communicated to me that in all the years of them leading different teams and organizations, that it’s clearer and more evident now more than ever that in order to thrive in this newly evolved business climate, one quality trait is more essential and needed now than it’s ever been.
The trait?
Vulnerability.
They’re in a unique position where they have been in leadership long enough to be deeply relatable to both dynamics of generational leaders; the baby boomers as well as the millennials.
The latter of which are now being handed, or in some cases ‘taking’ the torch and being asked to lead in unprecedented ways that the elder arch didn’t put as great of an emphasis towards being trained on.
What does this mean?
It means that in this day and age, you’re either progressively adapting in order to elevate with the times, or you’re inwardly dying (clinging to an outdated model of patriarchy), which promoted a machismo style of ‘do what you’re told,’ without a true and real sense of collective collaboration.
This particular model also doesn’t address (to a higher degree) the importance of emotional awareness.
Beyond that, emotional awareness can only be birthed from one particular area, which is at the foundation of inner growth in any domain; self-awareness.
In the patriarchal model, corporations by and large were created to function with a militarian like disposition, where the most important factors were only:
- Sales Revenue
- Customer Acquisition Costs
- Net Profit Margin
- Employee Performance
While being able to discern all of these metrics is paramount to running a successful organization; in our current life environment, they aren’t enough.
Cultures built purely off of fear, non-collaboration, and a dictatorial leadership style akin to an iron fist; simply put, won’t last.
“I’m the leader of ___, meaning as an employee or subordinate, you do as I say.”
Is there anything wrong with this way of communicating?
On the surface no.
However, it promotes an ego-based environment, where the culture around leadership is so focused on being right, that there’s zero room for listening, understanding, and true connection.
We now live in a far more diverse business climate.
And by diverse I’m speaking to a wide range of ‘differences’ that teams must be exceptionally in tune with, in order to instill cohesion and harmony amongst their staff.
Some of these differences could be around race, religion, sexual preference, and of course political affiliation.
These differences require a certain level of inward openness, which allows one to better see, understand, and relate to others who may not necessarily look, talk, or have the same life ideologies.
Happier, healthier, and more productive employees, tend to be those who feel most seen, heard, and trusting of their leadership.
This affects the ultimate bottom line far more than just doing as you're told.
On a recent Gallup poll, over 80% of employees who openly decided to resign or were in the process of looking for alternative work opportunities elsewhere, stated they were doing so because of two reasons:
1. A Toxic work-culture / environment
2. Poor and uninspiring leadership
Whether one liked it or not, the pandemic slowed everyone down to an extent (by sheer force).
And through that slowing down, we all were brought face-to-face with the areas within our lives that were being highlighted for reexamination.
Not only that, we were each asked to step to the mirror and look more deeply into our personal values, what we truly desire to do professionally, and what type of work-life environment would serve us, our energy, and our overall health and wellbeing to the highest degree.
The main key around this time is that it provided a deep opportunity to go inward (for those at least who embraced it as such).
To take away all the outward blame we may have been harboring or holding on towards another executive, business partner, or organization at large, and ask the important question of:
· What role did I play in creating this?
For many, it flashed a bright light on the importance of mental health and self-care.
To be able to be vulnerable enough to ask for help (many for the first time ever), to be vulnerable enough to share the areas that one may feel deeply stuck or frustrated around, to be vulnerable enough to allow the ego to take a back seat to the heart, in order to create the space for one’s “I have everything under control 100% of the time masks” to begin the process of being chipped away.
For those who have chosen to step into this new wave of authentic leadership, they’ve created a completely new foundation for how they choose to live, work, and ultimately ‘be’ in the world.
They’ve developed or are continuing to enhance these ever so important inner traits of:
1. Emotional Awareness (or the ability to effectively notice and regulate one’s emotions)
2. Conscious Communication (an ability to clearly and compassionately communicate with oneself and others)
These qualities when combined, create an elevation of one's entire inner being.
It improves their ability to handle conflicts both at work and home with more tact and mindfulness.
It allows them to be highly aware of their own inward emotions at any given moment, creating the environment for them to more frequently ‘respond’ with presence rather than ‘react’ with ego when their inner peace is disturbed.
What we resist, persist, and what we suppress and not express, is jammed into the body at a physiological level.
While we may think we’re ‘dealing’ with certain events when we choose to bury them, all we’re doing is setting up the theme for said event to continually show up for us time and time and time again.
And the more it shows up, the more the frustration or anger builds until we actually look at the said issue or challenge with open eyes and a curious mind.
Eyes that desire to look at it from all different angles, in order to see how said behaviors continue to create the outcome that we inevitably aren’t desiring within our lives.
A curiously open mind that looks at the areas that are providing the deepest sense of frustration (or clarity in something truly not working), in order to take 100% responsibility for the role we played in creating it.
This is the deep work of leadership.
It’s never about anyone external, as real leadership isn’t about some executive position title or role that places one in a higher position to lead others.
Real leadership is the qualities of the leader and how they approach or handle outward conflict (which is a direct reflection of how they handle it inwardly within themselves).
Do they take 100% responsibility or issue blame towards others?
Do they listen to understand, or do they talk to prove that they’re right more times than not?
Do they consider themselves a know-it-all, or are they genuinely open to hear new or different perspectives in order to form the best decision for all parties involved?
It ALL comes down to being in deep alignment with oneself.
As we elevate into our highest potential, we change.
As we change, our energy changes
As our energy changes, the thoughts we have change.
As the thoughts we have change, the way we communicate changes.
As the communication changes, we attract others who are in alignment to what it is we’re communicating.
As we attract others who are in alignment with what we’re communicating, we build whole new life ecosystems that are in deeper resonance to the core of our being.
And from that core place of being, we’re more intuitively in tune with who we are (from a heart level) and what we want to create in our lives as well as the world.
Authentic leadership is here to stay.
Yes, there are many organizations that are still run on a model of fear, but as consciousness continues to rise on the planet, the number of individuals who are stepping into their inner power is growing as well.
Individuals who are saying no to being treated unfairly or communicated to in such a manner that is belittling.
Individuals who are saying no to ridiculous amounts of work hours that leave them in a cycle of feeling wiped out and exhausted by day's end, where they spend each and every weekend in a state of recovery.
Individuals who choose to only lead or work for organizations that are backed by some purposeful mission that is bigger than just bottom lines.
Individuals who are clear as to what their unique talents are, and are able to double down on utilizing their strengths in order to create a life of them doing professional work in which they not only absolutely love, but genuinely feel appreciated by their organizations for said work.
However, guess what.
I’ll say it again.
This way of life doesn’t have anything to do with the external.
It doesn’t have to do with the company you lead or work for.
It doesn’t have to do with the leadership of said organization.
It doesn’t have to do with one's colleagues either.
It with 100% certainty has to do with one’s inner self and how they CHOOSE to show up within their own lives.
How they CHOOSE to communicate and reveal themselves, so they can be more understood.
How they CHOOSE to go inward and recognize the sensations in their bodies whenever certain emotions like fear, sadness, or anger are triggered, as well as how they RESPOND (think fight or flight) to these in the moment.
How they CHOOSE to set strong boundaries for their time, their full body yeses and no’s (not resentment building ‘yeses’ that are rooted in people pleasing), and how they create their own inner life ecosystem.
Leadership isn’t a position title, it’s a way of being.
A promotion doesn’t equal anything other than a larger income and maybe higher status on the societal hierarchy ladder.
However, that doesn’t equate to ‘being’ a more authentically embodied leader (as that comes 100% from within).
And this all comes down to emotional maturity and body awareness.
As both of these aspects are at the foundation to genuinely leading a staff or organization from a place of truly empowering others.
A place that invites others to authentically share themselves and remove the masks that has often been the hallmark of corporate culture.
When the leadership at the top does the inner work and heals, it permeates to every single person within the entire organization.
It invites a culture of cohesion (rather than gossip or individual silos where each department feels like they’re in a battle royal, vying for a spot at the top of the pyramid).
All of this to say that what if everyone could take 100% responsibility for their lives and exactly what they’ve created within them (with external blame or victimhood not even as a part of the vocabulary).
100% responsibility for CHOOSING a career where the present path is calling forth a more intentional, present, and emotional maturity (to be created from within).
100% responsibility for CHOOSING an intimate partner who allows your deepest insecurities to come up (that’s calling you to lean forward on your proverbial edge and grow, rather than withdraw or lash out reactively).
100% responsibility in honoring the power that YOU have to completely transform your life at any given moment (but only if you’re courageous enough to stop playing small and be in the world, but not of it).
Does that sound like living authentically to you?
It sure does to me.
And from that foundation of authenticity, real leadership is birthed and brought forth.
This is the perception of the world that I choose to see.
One that solely comes back to the self.
For as each person rises, another person (through sheer osmosis alone) rises too.
With Love,
Brandon
P.S. –
Here's also a 9-minute video I created around Authentic Leadership (which includes me sharing what I've identified as my own most vulnerable area)
Double P.S. -
If you recognize that emotional communication isn’t your strongest skill set, and you frequently run into challenges within your professional, intimate, or personal life due to an ever-growing blind-spot that continues to be highlighted time after time after time again, then maybe I can help.
I know exactly how you’re feeling because I’ve been there myself. From issues around instantly withdrawing whenever I felt hurt or angry. Issues that graduated into showing up in not only my suppressing style of communication professionally, but also with my intimate partner. Issues that I’ve seen not only affect countless men, but also women too (who may feel that their voice doesn’t matter).
If this sounds like you and you’re ready to break the pattern, then I invite you to set up a 30-Minute Clarity Call with me. On it, we’ll slow down, you’ll share exactly what the biggest problem area you notice for yourself around communication, and I’ll walk you through an exercise that will completely change the way you relate to your emotions (to the point of feeling freer and clearer in just one call).
However, this is only for those who believe in taking 100% responsibility for their own emotions, and recognize that the enhancing of this area within their lives, will not only greatly elevate their abilities to effectively communicate, but also create deeper and more meaningful connections, as well as authentically lead others.