The Power of Asking for Help
Some of us are great at asking for what we want, while others spend a great deal of time ruminating in self doubt or fear of burdening others.
Admittedly, I spent most of my life in the latter.
Even from a young age, I always had this belief that asking others for help was a form of weakness.
Inevitably if something needed to be done or figured out on my end, I would will myself into making whatever it was that I needed a reality.
There’s a beautiful gift in this, as one with this mindset is more prone to actively look for solutions over excuses.
However there’s a downside too, and that’s when we get so caught up in our self determination to figure something out, that we either do two things:
Block out opportunities for help, primarily from the sheer belief that we can do everything on our own
We come into contact with exactly what we need to help us to take our next step, but our fear and limiting beliefs keep us from taking full advantage of what we need the most
Tracking back through my own life, I’ve always been very independent.
My first job was at fourteen years old, and it was one thatI actively went after all on my own.
I remember wanting to genuinely have and make my own money, as I wanted to put as less of a burden on my single mother as possible.
I called all the local grocery stores and fast food restaurants in my hometown, but repeatedly kept hearing the same response:
“You have to be 15 or 16 years old to work here.”
I was frustrated but determined to find a job where my age would meet the requirements.
Finally my prayers were answered.
I came across a Chick fil-A about 15 minutes from home, which I could work for legally.
After the first interview I was hired and shortly afterwards began working every Friday and Saturday throughout my 8th grade year, in addition to this I also worked a couple more days in the subsequent summer.
There was only one issue though.
I was too young to drive and my work hours didn’t always coincide with times my mother could pick or drop me off.
I ended up asking my sister and one of my best friends aunts if they could frequently take and pick me up.
I remember how uncomfortable this felt, as I genuinely at the time hated asking anyone for anything.
However they both obliged and I felt a pure sense of relief.
This example is almost twenty years ago, but it’s one of the more vivid memories I have of stepping out of my comfort zone to ask for help.
Another time I remember asking for the same was when I was pursuing my undergrad degree in college.
I decided to double major in Exercise Sport Sciences & Sport Management.
My initial goal at the time was to land a job working in the professional sports industry.
I didn’t know exactly what all that entailed, but as a former athlete who absolutely loved all things pertaining to basketball and professional sports in general, I knew it would be pretty badass to somehow work on the business side of the industry.
Again, only one issue.
I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, and I also had no clue as to what was the best mode of securing a job in the industry.
I knew another one of my closest friends moms at the time worked as an executive for the Dallas Cowboys.
We didn’t have too much of a relationship outside of the casual times she saw me whenever I came over to see her son, but I began forging a relationship with her in the middle of my collegiate studies.
Her name was Robin and I would periodically send her e-mail sand set up phone conversations to just pick her brain for as much advice as I could muster.
She offered me countless recommendations on not only my studies, but as well as what I could do in order to best prepare my communication and skills, so that I would stand out amongst other candidates once I graduated.
Specifically from her advice, I spent one summer working for the college athletic department as a Student Assistant for the AssociateAthletic Director.
This exposed me to a side of sports I had never seen before; the innermost business side and a great deal of the factors that go into play behind the scenes of collegiate athletics.
At the same time I began working at Best Buy, in order to improve on my communication and people skills.
I worked both jobs while still studying a full academic course load.
I had become accustomed to balancing work and studies from my first job, so while it may have been challenging at times, I knew it was necessary in order to not only support myself, but also allow for more of an opportunity to obtain the skills that would help place me in the best position as possible to capitalize on future employment.
Through my relationship with her and the consequent years of reaching out, a certain level of trust was built between us.
Through her personal recommendation I was able to garner an interview with the Dallas Cowboys for a sales internship on the then brand new billion dollar new stadium project (the year was 2008).
Shortly after graduation I was fortunate to be picked as 1of 18 (with the team receiving thousands of resumes) new hires to begin an internship with the team, just short of a couple weeks after college graduation.
Subsequently after a successful internship with the team, I landed a full-time role as a Sales Account Executive with the ArizonaDiamondbacks of MLB.
After 8 months in that position, where I finished as the top revenue producer, I was promoted into a Senior Sales roll within the organization.
Just short of three years later I was then contacted by one of the executives of the Dallas Cowboys with an opportunity to fill one of the senior roles on their Premium Sales Staff.
I took the offer and subsequently started working with the team in my then dream job at the time.
Then three years later, after generating upwards of $20 million dollars in revenue for the organization through the selling of premium suites and club tickets at AT&T Stadium, I decided to resign.
My dreams had shifted, as life over time highlighted my purpose, which ignited a new meaning and direction for me to evolve into.
I was now very passionate about helping others on a more personal level through one-on-one coaching. Specifically around how to uniquely take care of our physical bodies, gain crystal clear clarity on our purpose, and how to build a lifestyle and new career, fully in alignment with it.
You know what started all of this?
My ability to continue to step out of my comfort zone and ask for help.
Even as a coach today, who has worked with countless clients ranging from multiple executives for professional sports teams, a couple professional athletes, and international clients coming from countries in Europe and South America, I continue to learn the importance of asking for help.
I’m now a firm believer of practicing what I preach.
I’ve actually worked with multiple coaches on a one-on-one basis over the past few years, since I’ve gone into personal coaching myself.
I’ve learned a tremendous amount from each and every one of them.
However the biggest thing I’ve gained is an acceptance of knowing that I don’t truly know all the answers, and in order to speed up my growth, it’s been extremely valuable for me to work with others who are above me in certain areas of where I’d like to be.
This goes as a reminder to say that there’s an absolute power and strength of asking for a hand in the areas that we don’t quite fully know how to navigate ourselves.
We’re all here to ultimately help one another in some shape or form, and the more mindful and open we are to flashing a light bulb on our fears, while at the same time intentionally gravitating towards those who have particular skills, knowledge, or traits that we desire to physically embody ourselves, the greater likelihood we have of speeding up the process and amount of time it would take to reach said goal.
Asking for what we need, then taking advantage of the opportunities that inevitably come our way from the request, is a great way to actively create an authentic state of alignment to our truest visions. This keeps our aims steady, actions directed, and progress guaranteed.
As someone who’s committed to something, always gets more done than someone who’s not.
With Love,
Brandon